Romeo and Juliet: Modern Version
by Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
Summary: Star-crossed lovers. Long-going family feud. The tragic deaths at the end; but at last they make amends. "For never was a story of more woe; than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
1. Dramatic Personæ

Dramatis Personæ

* * *

 **Romeo**  
The son and heir of Montague and Lady Montague. A young man of about sixteen, Romeo is handsome, intelligent, and sensitive. Though impulsive and immature, his idealism and passion make him an extremely likable character. He lives in the middle of a violent feud between his family and the Capulets, but he is not at all interested in violence. His only interest is love and he goes to extremes to prove the seriousness of his feelings. He secretly marries Juliet, the daughter of his father's worst enemy; he happily takes abuse from Tybalt; and he would rather die than live without his beloved. Romeo is also an affectionate and devoted friend to his relative Benvolio, Mercutio, and Friar Lawrence.

 **Juliet**  
The daughter of Capulet and Lady Capulet. A beautiful thirteen-year-old girl, Juliet begins the play as a naïve child who has thought little about love and marriage, but she grows up quickly upon falling in love with Romeo, the son of her family's great enemy. Because she is a girl in an aristocratic family, she has none of the freedom Romeo has to roam around the city, climb over walls in the middle of the night, or get into swordfights. Nevertheless, she shows amazing courage in trusting her entire life and future to Romeo, even refusing to believe the worst reports about him after he gets involved in a fight with her cousin. Juliet's closest friend and confidant is her Nurse, though she's willing to shut the Nurse out of her life the moment the Nurse turns against Romeo.

 **Friar Lawrence**  
A Franciscan friar, friend to both Romeo and Juliet. Kind, civic-minded, a proponent of moderation, and always ready with a plan, Friar Lawrence secretly marries the impassioned lovers in hopes that the union might eventually bring peace to Verona. As well as being a Catholic holy man, Friar Lawrence is also an expert in the use of seemingly mystical potions and herbs.

 **Mercutio**  
A kinsman to the Prince, and Romeo's close friend. One of the most extraordinary characters in all of Shakespeare's plays, Mercutio overflows with imagination, wit, and, at times, a strange, biting satire and brooding fervor. Mercutio loves wordplay, especially sexual double entendres. He can be quite hotheaded, and hates people who are affected, pretentious, or obsessed with the latest fashions. He finds Romeo's romanticized ideas about love tiresome, and tries to convince Romeo to view love as a simple matter of sexual appetite.

 **The Nurse**  
Juliet's nurse, the woman who breast-fed Juliet when she was a baby and has cared for Juliet her entire life. A vulgar, long-winded, and sentimental character, the Nurse provides comic relief with her frequently inappropriate remarks and speeches. But, until a disagreement near the play's end, the Nurse is Juliet's faithful confidante and loyal intermediary in Juliet's affair with Romeo. She provides a contrast with Juliet, given that her view of love is earthy and sexual, whereas Juliet is idealistic and intense. The Nurse believes in love and wants Juliet to have a nice-looking husband, but the idea that Juliet would want to sacrifice herself for love is incomprehensible to her.

 **Tybalt**  
A Capulet, Juliet's cousin on her mother's side. Vain, fashionable, supremely aware of courtesy and the lack of it, he becomes aggressive, violent, and quick to draw his sword when he feels his pride has been injured. Once drawn, his sword is something to be feared. He loathes Montagues.

 **Capulet**  
The patriarch of the Capulet family, father of Juliet, husband of Lady Capulet, and enemy, for unexplained reasons, of Montague. He truly loves his daughter, though he is not well acquainted with Juliet's thoughts or feelings, and seems to think that what is best for her is a "good" match with Paris. Often prudent, he commands respect and propriety, but he is liable to fly into a rage when either is lacking.

 **Lady Capulet**  
Juliet's mother, Capulet's wife. A woman who herself married young (by her own estimation she gave birth to Juliet at close to the age of fourteen), she is eager to see her daughter marry Paris. She is an ineffectual mother, relying on the Nurse for moral and pragmatic support.

 **Montague**  
Romeo's father, the patriarch of the Montague clan and bitter enemy of Capulet. At the beginning of the play, he is chiefly concerned about Romeo's melancholy.

 **Lady Montague**  
Romeo's mother, Montague's wife. She dies of grief after Romeo is exiled from Verona.

 **Paris**  
A kinsman of the Prince, and the suitor of Juliet most preferred by Capulet. Once Capulet has promised him he can marry Juliet, he behaves very presumptuous toward, acting as if they are already married.

 **Benvolio**  
Montague's nephew, Romeo's cousin and thoughtful friend, he makes a genuine effort to defuse violent scenes in public places, though Mercutio accuses him of having a nasty temper in private. He spends most of the play trying to help Romeo get his mind off Rosaline, even after Romeo has fallen in love with Juliet.

 **Prince Escalus**  
The Prince of Verona. A kinsman of Mercutio and Paris. As the seat of political power in Verona, he is concerned about maintaining the public peace at all costs.

 **Friar John**  
A Franciscan friar charged by Friar Lawrence with taking the news of Juliet's false death to Romeo in Mantua. Friar John is held up in a quarantined house, and the message never reaches Romeo.

 **Balthasar**  
Romeo's dedicated servant, who brings Romeo the news of Juliet's death, unaware that her death is a ruse.

 **Sampson and Gregory**  
Two servants of the house of Capulet, who, like their master, hate the Montagues. At the outset of the play, they successfully provoke some Montague men into a fight.

 **Abraham**  
Montague's servant, who fights with Sampson and Gregory in the first scene of the play.

 **The Apothecary**  
An apothecary in Mantua. Had he been wealthier, he might have been able to afford to value his morals more than money, and refused to sell poison to Romeo.

 **Peter**  
A Capulet servant who invites guests to Capulet's feast and escorts the Nurse to meet with Romeo. He is illiterate, and a bad singer.

 **Rosaline**  
The woman with whom Romeo is infatuated at the beginning of the play. Rosaline never appears onstage, but it is said by other characters that she is very beautiful and has sworn to live a life of chastity.


	2. Prologue

Prologue

* * *

The **CHORUS** enters.

In the beautiful city of Verona, where our story takes place, a long-standing hatred between two families erupts into new violence, and citizens stain their hands with the blood of their fellow citizens.

Two unlucky children of these enemy families become lovers and commit suicide. Their unfortunate deaths put an end to their parents' feud.

For the next two hours, we will watch the story of their doomed love and their parents' anger, which nothing but the children's deaths could stop. If you listen to us patiently, we'll make up for everything we've left out in this prologue onstage.

The **CHORUS** exits.


	3. Act I, Scene I

Act 1, Scene 1

* * *

 _ **SAMPSON** and **GREGORY** , servants of the Capulet family, enter carrying swords and small shields._

 **SAMPSON**

Gregory, I swear, we can't let them humiliate us. We won't take their garbage.

 **GREGORY**

 _(teasing_ SAMPSON _)_ No, because then we'd be garbagemen.

 **SAMPSON**

What I mean is, if they make us angry we'll pull out our swords.

 **GREGORY**

Maybe you should focus on pulling yourself out of trouble, Sampson.

 **SAMPSON**

I hit hard when I'm angry.

 **GREGORY**

But it's hard to make you angry.

 **SAMPSON**

One of those dogs from the Montague house can make me angry.

 **GREGORY**

Angry enough to run away. You won't stand and fight.

 **SAMPSON**

A dog from that house will make me angry enough to take a stand. If I pass one of them on the street, I'll take the side closer to the wall and let him walk in the gutter.

 **GREGORY**

That means you're the weak one, because weaklings get pushed up against the wall.

 **SAMPSON**

You're right. That's why girls get pushed up against walls—they're weak. So what I'll do is push the Montague men into the street and the Montague women up against the wall.

 **GREGORY**

The fight is between our masters, and we men who work for them.

 **SAMPSON**

It's all the same. I'll be a harsh master to them. After I fight the men, I'll be nice to the women—I'll cut off their heads.

 **GREGORY**

Cut off their heads? You mean their maidenheads?

 **SAMPSON**

Cut off their heads, take their maidenheads—whatever. Take my remark in whichever sense you like.

 **GREGORY**

The women you rape are the ones who'll have to "sense" it.

 **SAMPSON**

They'll feel me as long as I can keep an erection. Everybody knows I'm a nice piece of flesh.

 **GREGORY**

It's a good thing you're not a piece of fish. You're dried and shriveled like salted fish.

 _ **ABRAM** and another servant of the Montagues enter._

Pull out your tool now. These guys are from the house of Montague.

 **SAMPSON**

I have my naked sword out. Fight, I'll back you up.

 **GREGORY**

How will you back me up—by turning your back and running away?

 **SAMPSON**

Don't worry about me.

 **GREGORY**

No, really. I _am_ worried about you!

 **SAMPSON**

Let's not break the law by starting a fight. Let them start something.

 **GREGORY**

I'll frown at them as they pass by, and they can react however they want.

 **SAMPSON**

You mean however they dare. I'll bite my thumb at them. That's an insult, and if they let me get away with it they'll be dishonored. _(_ SAMPSON _bites his thumb)_

 **ABRAM**

Hey, are you biting your thumb at us?

 **SAMPSON**

I'm biting my thumb.

 **ABRAM**

Are you biting your thumb at us?

 **SAMPSON**

( _aside to_ GREGORY) Is the law on our side if I say yes?

 **GREGORY**

 _(aside to_ SAMPSON _)_ No.

 **SAMPSON**

( _to_ ABRAM) No, sir, I'm not biting my thumb at you, but I am biting my thumb.

 **GREGORY**

Are you trying to start a fight?

 **ABRAM**

Start a fight? No, sir.

 **SAMPSON**

If you want to fight, I'm your man. My employer is as good as yours.

 **ABRAM**

But he's not better than mine.

 **SAMPSON**

Well then.

 _ **BENVOLIO** enters._

 **GREGORY**

 _(speaking so that only_ SAMPSON _can hear)_ Say "better." Here comes one of my employer's relatives.

 **SAMPSON**

 _(to_ ABRAM _)_ Yes, "better," sir.

 **ABRAM**

You lie.

 **SAMPSON**

Pull out your swords, if you're men. Gregory, remember how to slash.

 _They fight._

 **BENVOLIO**

( _pulling out his sword_ ) Break it up, you fools. Put your swords away. You don't know what you're doing.

 _ **TYBALT** enters._

 **TYBALT**

What? You've pulled out your sword to fight with these worthless servants? Turn around, Benvolio, and look at the man who's going to kill you.

 **BENVOLIO**

I'm only trying to keep the peace. Either put away your sword or use it to help me stop this fight.

 **TYBALT**

What? You take out your sword and then talk about peace? I hate the word peace like I hate hell, all Montagues, and you. Let's go at it, coward!

 _ **BENVOLIO** and **TYBALT** fight. Three or four **CITIZENS** of the watch enter with clubs and spears._

 **CITIZENS**

Use your clubs and spears! Hit them! Beat them down! Down with the Capulets! Down with the Montagues!

 _ **CAPULET** enters in his gown, together with his wife, **LADY CAPULET**._

 **CAPULET**

What's this noise? Give me my long sword! Come on!

 **LADY CAPULET**

A crutch, you need a crutch—why are you asking for a sword?

 _ **MONTAGUE** enters with his sword drawn, together with his wife, **LADY MONTAGUE.**_

 **CAPULET**

I want my sword. Old Montague is here, and he's waving his sword around just to make me mad.

 **MONTAGUE**

Capulet, you villain! _(his wife holds him back)_ Don't stop me. Let me go.

 **LADY MONTAGUE**

You're not taking one step toward an enemy.

 _ **PRINCE ESCALUS** enters with his escort._

 **PRINCE**

 _(shouting at the rioters)_ You rebels! Enemies of the peace! Men who turn their weapons against their own neighbors—They won't listen to me?—You there! You men, you beasts, who satisfy your anger with fountains of each others' blood! I'll have you tortured if you don't put down your swords and listen to your angry prince.

 _(_ MONTAGUE _,_ CAPULET _, and their followers throw down their weapons)_

Three times now riots have broken out in this city, all because of a casual word from you, old Capulet and Montague. Three times the peace has been disturbed in our streets, and Verona's old citizens have had to take off their dress clothes and pick up rusty old spears to part you. If you ever cause a disturbance on our streets again, you'll pay for it with your lives. Everyone else, go away for now.

( _to_ CAPULET) You, Capulet, come with me _._

 _(to_ MONTAGUE) Montague, this afternoon come to old Free-town, the court where I deliver judgments, and I'll tell you what else I want from you. As for the rest of you, I'll say this once more: go away or be put to death.

 _Everyone exits except **MONTAGUE** , **LADY MONTAGUE** , and **BENVOLIO**._

 **MONTAGUE**

Who started this old fight up again? Speak, nephew. Were you here when it started?

 **BENVOLIO**

Your servants were fighting your enemy's servants before I got here. I drew my sword to part them. Right then, that hothead Tybalt showed up with his sword ready. He taunted me and waved his sword around, making the air hiss. As we were trading blows, more and more people showed up to join the fight, until the Prince came and broke everyone up.

 **LADY MONTAGUE**

Oh, where's Romeo? Have you seen him today? I'm glad he wasn't here for this fight.

 **BENVOLIO**

Madam, I had a lot on my mind an hour before dawn this morning, so I went for a walk. Underneath the Sycamore grove that grows on the west side of the city, I saw your son taking an early-morning walk. I headed toward him, but he saw me coming and hid in the woods. I thought he must be feeling the same way I was—wanting to be alone and tired of his own company. I figured he was avoiding me, and I was perfectly happy to leave him alone and keep to myself.

 **MONTAGUE**

He's been seen there many mornings, crying tears that add drops to the morning dew and making a cloudy day cloudier with his sighs. But as soon as the sun rises in the east, my sad son comes home to escape the light. He locks himself up alone in his bedroom, shuts his windows to keep out the beautiful daylight, and makes himself an artificial night. This mood of his is going to bring bad news, unless someone smart can fix what's bothering him.

 **BENVOLIO**

My noble uncle, do you know why he acts this way?

 **MONTAGUE**

I don't know, and he won't tell me.

 **BENVOLIO**

Have you done everything you could to make him tell you the reason?

 **MONTAGUE**

I've tried, and many of our friends have tried to make him talk, but he keeps his thoughts to himself. He doesn't want any friend but himself, and though I don't know whether he's a _good_ friend to himself, he certainly keeps his own secrets. He's like a flower bud that won't open itself up to the world because it's been poisoned from within by parasites. If we could only find out why he's sad, we'd be as eager to help him as we were to learn the reason for his sadness.

 _ **ROMEO** enters._

 **BENVOLIO**

Look—here he comes. If you don't mind, please step aside. He'll either have to tell me what's wrong or else tell me no over and over.

 **MONTAGUE**

I hope you're lucky enough to hear the true story by sticking around. _(to his wife)_ Come, madam, let's go.

 _ **MONTAGUE** and **LADY MONTAGUE** exit._

 **BENVOLIO**

Good morning, cousin.

 **ROMEO**

Is it that early in the day?

 **BENVOLIO**

It's only just now nine o'clock.

 **ROMEO**

Oh my, time goes by slowly when you're sad. Was that my father who left here in such a hurry?

 **BENVOLIO**

It was. What's making you so sad and your hours so long?

 **ROMEO**

I don't have the thing that makes time fly.

 **BENVOLIO**

You're in love?

 **ROMEO**

Out

 **BENVOLIO**

Out of love?

 **ROMEO**

I love someone. She doesn't love me.

 **BENVOLIO**

It's sad. Love looks like a nice thing, but it's actually very rough when you experience it.

 **ROMEO**

What's sad is that love is supposed to be blind, but it can still make you do whatever it wants. So, where should we eat? _(seeing blood)_ Oh my! What fight happened here? No, don't tell me—I know all about it. This fight has a lot to do with hatred, but it has more to do with love. O brawling love! O loving hate! Love that comes from nothing! Sad happiness! Serious foolishness! Beautiful things muddled together into an ugly mess! Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake—it's everything except what it is! This is the love I feel, though no one loves me back. Are you laughing?

 **BENVOLIO**

No, cousin, I'm crying.

 **ROMEO**

Good man, why are you crying?

 **BENVOLIO**

I'm crying because of how sad you are.

 **ROMEO**

Yes, this is what love does. My sadness sits heavy in my chest, and you want to add your own sadness to mine so there's even more. I have too much sadness already, and now you're going to make me sadder by feeling sorry for you. Here's what love is: a smoke made out of lovers' sighs. When the smoke clears, love is a fire burning in your lover's eyes. If you frustrate love, you get an ocean made out of lovers' tears. What else is love? It's a wise form of madness. It's a sweet lozenge that you choke on. Goodbye, cousin.

 **BENVOLIO**

Wait. I'll come with you. If you leave me like this, you're doing me wrong.

 **ROMEO**

I'm not myself. I'm not here. This isn't Romeo—he's somewhere else.

 **BENVOLIO**

Tell me seriously, who is the one you love?

 **ROMEO**

Seriously? You mean I should groan and tell you?

 **BENVOLIO**

Groan? No. But tell me seriously who it is.

 **ROMEO**

You wouldn't tell a sick man he "seriously" has to make his will—it would just make him worse. Seriously, cousin, I love a woman.

 **BENVOLIO**

I guessed that already when I guessed you were in love.

 **ROMEO**

Then you were right on target. The woman I love is beautiful.

 **BENVOLIO**

A beautiful target is the one that gets hit the fastest.

 **ROMEO**

Well, you're not on target there. She refuses to be hit by Cupid's arrow. She's as clever as Diana, and shielded by the armor of chastity. She can't be touched by the weak and childish arrows of love. She won't listen to words of love, or let you look at her with loving eyes, or open her lap to receive gifts of gold. She's rich in beauty, but she's also poor, because when she dies her beauty will be destroyed with her.

 **BENVOLIO**

So she's made a vow to be a virgin forever?

 **ROMEO**

Yes she has, and by keeping celibate, she wastes her beauty. If you starve yourself of sex you can't ever have children, and so your beauty is lost to future generations. She's too beautiful and too wise to deserve heaven's blessing by making me despair. She's sworn off love, and that promise has left me alive but dead, living only to talk about it now.

 **BENVOLIO**

Take my advice. Don't think about her.

 **ROMEO**

Teach me to forget to think!

 **BENVOLIO**

Do it by letting your eyes wander freely. Look at other beautiful girls.

 **ROMEO**

That will only make me think more about how beautiful _she_ is. Beautiful women like to wear black masks over their faces—those black masks only make us think about how beautiful they are underneath. A man who goes blind can't forget the precious eyesight he lost. Show me a really beautiful girl. Her beauty is like a note telling me where I can see someone even more beautiful. Goodbye. You can't teach me to forget.

 **BENVOLIO**

I'll show you how to forget, or else I'll die owing you that lesson.

 _They exit._


	4. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 2

Act 1, Scene 2

* * *

 _ **CAPULET** enters with County **PARIS** , followed by **PETER** , a servant._

 **CAPULET**

 _(continuing a conversation)_ But Montague has sworn an oath just like I have, and he's under the same penalty. I don't think it will be hard for men as old as we are to keep the peace.

 **PARIS**

You both have honorable reputations, and it's too bad you've been enemies for so long. But what do you say to my request?

 **CAPULET**

I can only repeat what I've said before. My daughter is still very young. She's not even fourteen years old. Let's wait two more summers before we start thinking she's ready to get married.

 **PARIS**

Girls younger than she often marry and become happy mothers.

 **CAPULET**

Girls who marry so young grow up too soon. But go ahead and charm her, gentle Paris; make her love you. My permission is only part of her decision. If she agrees to marry you, my blessing and fair words will confirm her choice. Tonight I'm having a feast that we've celebrated for many years. I've invited many of my closest friends, and I'd like to welcome you and add you to the guest list. At my humble house tonight, you can expect to see dazzling stars that walk on the ground and light the sky from below.

You'll be delighted by young women as fresh as spring flowers. Look at anyone you like, and choose whatever woman seems best to you. Once you see a lot of girls, you might not think my daughter's the best anymore. Come along with me.

 _(to_ PETER, _handing him a paper)_ Go, little fellow, walk all around Verona. Find the people on this list and tell them they're welcome at my house tonight.

 _ **CAPULET** and **PARIS** exit._

 **PETER**

Find the people whose names are on this list? It is written that shoemakers and tailors should play with each others' tools, that fisherman should play with paints, and painters should play with fishing nets. But I've been sent to find the people whose names are written on this list, and I can't read! I'll never find them on my own. I've got to find somebody who knows how to read to help me. But here come some people, right in the nick of time.

 _ **BENVOLIO** and **ROMEO** enter_

 **BENVOLIO**

 _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Come on, man. You can put out one fire by starting another. A new pain will make the one you already have seem less. If you make yourself dizzy, you can cure yourself by spinning back around in the opposite direction. A new grief will put the old one out of your mind. Make yourself lovesick by gazing at some new girl, and your old lovesickness will be cured.

 **ROMEO**

The plantain leaf is excellent for that.

 **BENVOLIO**

For what, Romeo?

 **ROMEO**

For when you cut your shin.

 **BENVOLIO**

What? Romeo, are you crazy?

 **ROMEO**

I'm not crazy, but I'm tied up tighter than a mental patient in a straitjacket. I'm locked up in a prison and deprived of food. I'm whipped and tortured— _(to_ PETER _)_ Good evening, good fellow.

 **PETER**

May God give you a good evening. Excuse me, sir, do you know how to read?

 **ROMEO**

I can read my own fortune in my misery.

 **PETER**

Perhaps you've learned from life and not from books. But please tell me, can you read anything you see?

 **ROMEO**

Yes, if I know the language and the letters.

 **PETER**

I see. Well, that's an honest answer. Have a nice day.

 **ROMEO**

Stay, fellow. I can read. _(he reads the letter)_

"Signor Martino and his wife and daughters,

Count Anselme and his beautiful sisters,

Vitruvio's widow,

Signor Placentio and his lovely nieces,

Mercutio and his brother Valentine,

My uncle Capulet and his wife and daughters,

My fair niece Rosaline and Livia,

Signor Valentio and his cousin Tybalt,

Lucio and the lively Helena."

That's a nice group of people. Where are they supposed to come?

 **PETER**

Up.

 **ROMEO**

Where? To supper?

 **PETER**

To our house.

 **ROMEO**

Whose house?

 **PETER  
** My master's house.

 **ROMEO**

Indeed, I should have asked you before who he was.

 **PETER**

Now I'll tell you so you don't have to ask. My master is the great and rich Capulet, and if you don't belong to the house of Montague, please come and drink a cup of wine. Have a nice day!

 _ **PETER** exits._

 **BENVOLIO**

The beautiful Rosaline whom you love so much will be at Capulet's traditional feast, along with every beautiful woman in Verona. Go there and compare her objectively to some other girls I'll show you. The woman who you think is as beautiful as a swan is going to look as ugly as a crow to you.

 **ROMEO**

If my eyes ever lie to me like that, let my tears turn into flames and burn them for being such obvious liars! A woman more beautiful than the one I love? The sun itself has never seen anyone as beautiful since the world began.

 **BENVOLIO**

Come on, you first decided she was beautiful when no one else was around. There was no one to compare her to except herself. But let your eyes compare her to another beautiful woman who I'll show you at this feast, and you won't think she's the best anymore.

 **ROMEO**

I'll go with you. Not because I think you'll show me anything better, but so I can see the woman I love.

 _They exit._


	5. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 3

Act 1, Scene 3

* * *

 _ **LADY CAPULET** and the **NURSE** enter._

 **LADY CAPULET**

Nurse, where's my daughter? Tell her to come to me.

 **NURSE**

I swear to you by my virginity at age twelve, I already told her to come. Come on! Where is she? What is she doing? What, Juliet!

 _ **JULIET** enters._

 **JULIET**

What is it? Who's calling me?

 **NURSE**

Your mother.

 **JULIET**

Madam, I'm here. What do you want?

 **LADY CAPULET**

I'll tell you what's the matter—Nurse, leave us alone for a little while. We must talk privately—Nurse, come back here. I just remembered, you can listen to our secrets. You know how young my daughter is.

 **NURSE**

Yes, I know her age down to the hour.

 **LADY CAPULET**

She's not even fourteen.

 **NURSE**

I'd bet fourteen of my own teeth—but, I'm sorry to say, I only have four teeth—she's not fourteen. How long is it until Lammastide?

 **LADY CAPULET**

Two weeks and a few odd days.

 **NURSE**

Whether it's even or odd, of all the days in the year, on the night of Lammas Eve, she'll be fourteen. She and Susan—God rest her and all Christian souls—were born on the same day. Well, Susan died and is with God. She was too good for me.

But like I said, on the night of Lammas Eve, she will be fourteen. Yes, she will. Indeed, I remember it well. It's been eleven years since the earthquake. She stopped nursing from my breast on that very day. I'll never forget it. I had put bitter wormwood on my breast as I was sitting in the sun, under the wall of the dovehouse.

You and your husband were in Mantua. Boy, do I have some memory!

But like I said, when she tasted the bitter wormwood on my nipple, the pretty little babe got irritated and started to quarrel with my breast. Then the dovehouse shook with the earthquake. There was no need to tell me to get out of there. That was eleven years ago. By then she could stand up all by herself.

No, I swear, by that time she could run and waddle all around. I remember because she had cut her forehead just the day before. My husband—God rest his soul, he was a happy man—picked up the child. "Oh," he said, "Did you fall on your face? You'll fall backward when you grow smarter. Won't you, Jule." And I swear, the poor pretty thing stopped crying and said, "Yes." Oh, to watch a joke come true! I bet if I live a thousand years, I'll never forget it. "Won't you, Jule," he said. And the pretty fool stopped crying and said, "Yes."

 **LADY CAPULET**

Enough of this. Please be quiet.

 **NURSE**

Yes, madam. But I can't help laughing to think that the baby stopped crying and said, "Yes." I swear, she had a bump on her forehead as big as a rooster's testicle. It was a painful bruise, and she was crying bitterly. "Yes," said my husband, "Did you fall on your face? You'll fall backward when you grow up, won't you, Jule?" And she stopped crying and said, "Yes."

 **JULIET**

Now you stop too, Nurse, please.

 **NURSE**

Peace. I'm done talking. May God choose you to receive his grace. You were the prettiest baby I ever nursed. If I live to see you get married someday, all my wishes will come true.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Well, marriage is exactly what we have to discuss. Tell me, my daughter Juliet, what is your attitude about getting married?

 **JULIET**

It is an honor that I do not dream of.

 **NURSE**

"An honor?" If I weren't your only nurse, I'd say you had sucked wisdom from the breast that fed you.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Well, start thinking about marriage now. Here in Verona there are girls younger than you—girls from noble families—who have already become mothers. By my count, I was already your mother at just about your age, while you remain a virgin. Well then, I'll say this quickly: the valiant Paris wants you as his bride.

 **NURSE**

What a man, young lady. He's as great a man as any in the whole world. He's as perfect as if he were sculpted from wax.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Summertime in Verona has no flower as fine as him.

 **NURSE**

No, he's a fine flower, truly, a flower.

 **LADY CAPULET**

 _(to_ JULIET _)_ What do you say? Can you love this gentleman? Tonight you'll see him at our feast. Study Paris's face and find pleasure in his beauty. Examine every line of his features and see how they work together to make him handsome. If you are confused, just look into his eyes. This man is single, and he lacks only a bride to make him perfect and complete. As is right, fish live in the sea, and it's wrong for a beauty like you to hide from a handsome man like him. Many people think he's handsome, and whoever becomes his bride will be just as admired. You would share all that he possesses, and by having him, you would lose nothing.

 **NURSE**

Lose nothing? In fact, you'd get bigger. Men make women bigger by getting them pregnant.

 **LADY CAPULET**

 _(to_ JULIET _)_ Give us a quick answer. Can you accept Paris's love?

 **JULIET**

I'll look at him and try to like him, at least if what I see is likable. But I won't let myself fall for him any more than your permission allows.

 _ **PETER** enters._

 **PETER**

Madam, the guests are here, dinner is served, people are calling for you, people have asked for Juliet, and in the pantry, people are cursing the Nurse. Everything's out of control. I must go and serve the guests. Please, follow straight after me.

 **LADY CAPULET**

We'll follow you.

Juliet, the count is waiting for you.

 **NURSE**

Go, girl, look for a man who'll give you happy nights at the end of happy days.

 _They all exit._


	6. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 4

Act 1, Scene 4

* * *

 _ **ROMEO** , **MERCUTIO** , and **BENVOLIO** enter dressed as maskers, along with five or six other **MASKERS** , carrying a drum and torches._

 **ROMEO**

What will we say is our excuse for being here? Or should we enter without apologizing?

 **BENVOLIO**

It's out of fashion to give lengthy explanations like that. We're not going to introduce our dance by having someone dress up as Cupid, blindfolded and carrying a toy bow to frighten the ladies like a scarecrow. Nor are we going to recite a memorized speech to introduce ourselves. Let them judge us however they please. We'll give them a dance and then hit the road.

 **ROMEO**

Give me a torch. I don't want to dance. I feel sad, so let me be the one who carries the light.

 **MERCUTIO**

No, noble Romeo, you've got to dance.

 **ROMEO**

Not me, believe me. You're wearing dancing shoes with nimble soles. My soul is made out of lead, and it's so heavy it keeps me stuck on the ground so I can't move.

 **MERCUTIO**

You're a lover. Take Cupid's wings and fly higher than the average man.

 **ROMEO**

His arrow has pierced me too deeply, so I can't fly high with his cheerful feathers. Because this wound keeps me down, I can't leap any higher than my dull sadness. I sink under the heavy weight of love.

 **MERCUTIO**

If you sink, you're dragging love down. It's not right to drag down something as tender as love.

 **ROMEO**

Is love really tender? I think it's too rough, too rude, too rowdy, and it pricks like a thorn.

 **MERCUTIO**

If love plays rough with you, play rough with love. If you prick love when it pricks you, you'll beat love down. Give me a mask to put my face in. A mask to put over my other mask. What do I care if some curious person sees my flaws? Let this mask, with its black eyebrows, blush for me. _(they put on masks)_

 **BENVOLIO**

Come on, let's knock and go in. The minute we get in let's all start dancing.

 **ROMEO**

I'll take a torch. Let playful people with light hearts dance. There's an old saying that applies to me: you can't lose if you don't play the game. I'll just hold a torch and watch you guys. It looks like a lot of fun, but I'll sit this one out.

 **MERCUTIO**

Hey, you're being a stick in the mud, as cautious as a policemen on night patrol. If you're a stick in the mud, we'll pull you out of the mud—I mean out of love, if you'll excuse me for being so rude—where you're stuck up to your ears. Come on, we're wasting precious daylight. Let's go!

 **ROMEO**

No we're not—it's night.

 **MERCUTIO**

I mean, we're wasting the light of our torches by delaying, which is like wasting the sunshine during the day. Use your common sense to figure out what I mean, instead of trying to be clever or trusting your five senses.

 **ROMEO**

We mean well by going to this masquerade ball, but it's not smart of us to go.

 **MERCUTIO**

Why, may I ask?

 **ROMEO**

I had a dream last night.

 **MERCUTIO**

So did I.

 **ROMEO**

Well, what was your dream?

 **MERCUTIO**

My dream told me that dreamers often lie.

 **ROMEO**

They lie in bed while they dream about the truth.

 **MERCUTIO**

Oh, then I see you've been with Queen Mab.

 **BENVOLIO**

Who's Queen Mab?

 **MERCUTIO**

She's the fairies' midwife.

She's no bigger than the stone on a city councilman's ring. She rides around in a wagon drawn by tiny little atoms, and she rides over men's noses as they lie sleeping. The spokes of her wagon are made of spiders' legs. The cover of her wagon is made of grasshoppers' wings. The harnesses are made of the smallest spiderwebs. The collars are made out of moonbeams. Her whip is a thread attached to a cricket's bone. Her wagon driver is a tiny bug in a gray coat; he's not half the size of a little round worm that comes from the finger of a lazy young girl.

Her chariot is a hazelnut shell. It was made by a carpenter squirrel or an old grubworm; they've made wagons for the fairies as long as anyone can remember.

In this royal wagon, she rides every night through the brains of lovers and makes them dream about love. She rides over courtiers' knees, and they dream about curtsying.

She rides over lawyers' fingers, and right away, they dream about their fees. She rides over ladies' lips, and they immediately dream of kisses. Queen Mab often puts blisters on their lips because their breath smells like candy, which makes her mad. Sometimes she rides over a courtier's lips, and he dreams of making money off of someone. Sometimes she tickles a priest's nose with a tithe-pigs tail, and he dreams of a large donation. Sometimes she rides over a soldier's neck, and he dreams of cutting the throats of foreign enemies, of breaking down walls, of ambushes, of Spanish swords, and of enormous cups of liquor. And then, drums beat in his ear and he wakes up. He's frightened, so he says a couple of prayers and goes back to sleep.

She is the same Mab who tangles the hair in horses' manes at night and makes the tangles hard in the dirty hairs, which bring bad luck if they're untangled.

Mab is the old hag who gives false sex dreams to virgins and teaches them how to hold a lover and bear a child. She's the one—

 **ROMEO**

Enough, enough! Mercutio, be quiet. You're talking nonsense.

 **MERCUTIO**

True. I'm talking about dreams, which are the products of a brain that's doing nothing. Dreams are nothing but silly imagination, as thin as air, and less predictable than the wind, which sometimes blows on the frozen north and then gets angry and blows south.

 **BENVOLIO**

The wind you're talking about is blowing us off our course. Dinner is over, and we're going to get there too late.

 **ROMEO**

I'm worried we'll get there too early. I have a feeling this party tonight will be the start of something bad, something that will end with my own death. But whoever's in charge of where my life's going can steer me wherever they want. Onward, lover boys!

 **BENVOLIO**

Beat the drum.

 _They march about the stage and exit._


	7. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 5

Act 1, Scene 5

* * *

 _ **PETER** and other **SERVINGMEN** come forward with napkins._

 **PETER**

Where's Potpan? Why isn't he helping us clear the table? He should be moving and scraping plates!

 **FIRST SERVINGMAN**

When only one or two men have all the good manners, and even they are dirty, things are bad.

 **PETER**

Take away the stools, the sideboards, and the plates. You, good friend, save me a piece of marzipan, and if you love me, have the porter let in Susan Grindstone and Nell. Antony and Potpan!

 **SECOND SERVINGMAN**

Yes, boy, I'm ready.

 **PETER**

They're looking for you in the great chamber.

 **FIRST SERVINGMAN**

We can't be in two places at once, both here and there! Cheers, boys. Be quick for a while and let the one who lives the longest take everything.

 _ **PETER** and the **SERVINGMEN** exit._

 _ **CAPULET** enters with his **COUSIN** , **TYBALT** , **LADY CAPULET** , **JULIET** , and other members of the house. They meet **ROMEO** , **BENVOLIO** , **MERCUTIO** , and other guests and **MASKERS**_

 **CAPULET**

Welcome, gentlemen. The ladies who don't have corns on their toes will dance with you. Ha, my ladies, which of you will refuse to dance now? Whichever of you acts shy, I'll swear she has corns. Does that hit close to home?

Welcome, gentlemen. There was a time when I could wear a mask over my eyes and charm a lady by whispering a story in her ear. That time is gone, gone, gone. You are welcome gentlemen.

Come on, musicians, play music. _(music plays and they dance,_ ROMEO _stands apart)_ Make room in the hall. Make room in the hall. Shake a leg, girls _._

 _(to_ SERVINGMEN _)_ More light, you rascals. Flip over the tables and get them out of the way. And put the fire out—it's getting too hot in here. _(to his_ COUSIN _)_ Ah, my man, this unexpected fun feels good. No, sit down, sit down, my good Capulet cousin. You and I are too old to dance.

 _(_ CAPULET _and his_ COUSIN _sit down)_ How long is it now since you and I last wore masks at a party like this?

 **CAPULET'S COUSIN**

I swear, it must be thirty years.

 **CAPULET**

What, man? It's not that long, it's not that long. It's been since Lucentio's wedding. Let the years fly by as fast as they like, it's only been twenty-five years since we wore masks.

 **CAPULET'S COUSIN**

It's been longer, it's been longer. Lucentio's son is older than that, sir. He's thirty years old.

 **CAPULET**

Are you really going to tell me that? His son was a minor only two years ago.

 **ROMEO**

 _(to a_ SERVINGMAN _)_ Who is the girl on the arm of that lucky knight over there?

 **SERVINGMAN**

I don't know, sir.

 **ROMEO**

Oh, she shows the torches how to burn bright! She stands out against the darkness like a jeweled earring hanging against the cheek of an African. Her beauty is too good for this world; she's too beautiful to die and be buried. She outshines the other women like a white dove in the middle of a flock of crows. When this dance is over, I'll see where she stands, and then I'll touch her hand with my rough and ugly one. Did my heart ever love anyone before this moment? My eyes were liars, then, because I never saw true beauty before tonight.

 **TYBALT**

I can tell by his voice that this man is a Montague.

 _(to his_ PAGE _)_ Get me my sword, boy. _—_ What, does this peasant dare to come here with his face covered by a mask to sneer at and scorn our celebration? Now, by the honor of our family, I do not consider it a crime to kill him.

 **CAPULET**

Why, what's going on here, nephew? Why are you acting so angry?

 **TYBALT**

Uncle, this man is a Montague—our enemy. He's a scoundrel who's come here out of spite to mock our party.

 **CAPULET**

Is it young Romeo?

 **TYBALT**

That's him, that villain Romeo.

 **CAPULET**

Calm down, gentle cousin. Leave him alone. He carries himself like a dignified gentleman, and, to tell you the truth, he has a reputation throughout Verona as a virtuous and well-behaved young man. I wouldn't insult him in my own house for all the wealth in this town. So calm down. Just ignore him. That's what I want, and if you respect my wishes, you'll look nice and stop frowning because that's not the way you should behave at a feast.

 **TYBALT**

It's the right way to act when a villain like him shows up. I won't tolerate him.

 **CAPULET**

You _will_ tolerate him. What, little man? I say you will. What the—Am I the boss here or you? What the—You won't tolerate him! God help me! You'll start a riot among my guests! There will be chaos! It will be your fault, you'll be the rabble-rouser!

 **TYBALT**

But, uncle, we're being disrespected.

 **CAPULET**

Go on, go on. You're an insolent little boy. Is that how it is, really? This stupidity will come back to bite you. I know what I'll do. You have to contradict me, do you? I'll teach you a lesson.

 _(to the_ GUESTS _)_ Well done, my dear guests! _(to_ TYBALT _)_ You're a punk, get away. Keep your mouth shut, or else— _(to_ SERVINGMEN _)_ more light, more light! _(to_ TYBALT _)_ You should be ashamed. 'll shut you up. _(to the guests)_ Keep having fun, my dear friends!

 _The music plays again, and the guests dance._

 **TYBALT**

The combination of forced patience and pure rage is making my body tremble. I'll leave here now, but Romeo's prank, which seems so sweet to him now, will turn bitter to him later.

 _ **TYBALT** exits._

 **ROMEO**

 _(taking_ JULIET _'s hand)_ Your hand is like a holy place that my hand is unworthy to visit. If you're offended by the touch of my hand, my two lips are standing here like blushing pilgrims, ready to make things better with a kiss.

 **JULIET**

Good pilgrim, you don't give your hand enough credit. By holding my hand you show polite devotion. After all, pilgrims touch the hands of statues of saints. Holding one palm against another is like a kiss.

 **ROMEO**

Don't saints and pilgrims have lips too?

 **JULIET**

Yes, pilgrim—they have lips that they're supposed to pray with.

 **ROMEO**

Well then, saint, let lips do what hands do. I'm praying for you to kiss me. Please grant my prayer so my faith doesn't turn to despair.

 **JULIET**

Saints don't move, even when they grant prayers.

 **ROMEO**

Then don't move while I act out my prayer.

 _He kisses her_.

Now my sin has been taken from my lips by yours.

 **JULIET**

Then do my lips now have the sin they took from yours?

 **ROMEO**

Sin from my lips? You encourage crime with your sweetness. Give me my sin back.

 _They kiss again._

 **JULIET**

You kiss like you've studied how.

 **NURSE**

Madam, your mother wants to talk to you.

 _ **JULIET** moves away._

 **ROMEO**

Who is her mother?

 **NURSE**

Indeed, young man, her mother is the lady of the house. She is a good, wise, and virtuous lady. I nursed her daughter, whom you were just talking to. Let me tell you, the man who marries her will become very wealthy.

 **ROMEO**

 _(to himself)_ Is she a Capulet? Oh, this is a heavy price to pay! My life is in the hands of my enemy.

 **BENVOLIO**

 _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Come on, let's go. Right when things are the most fun is the best time to leave.

 **ROMEO**

Yes, but I'm afraid I'm in more trouble than ever.

 **CAPULET**

No gentlemen, don't get ready to go now. We have a little dessert coming up. _(they whisper in his ear)_ Is that really true? Well, then, I thank you both. I thank you, honest gentlemen. Good night. Bring more torches over here! Come on, let's all get to bed. _(to his_ COUSIN _)_ Ah, my man, I swear, it's getting late. I'm going to get some rest.

 _Everyone except **JULIET** and **NURSE** begins to exit._

 **JULIET**

Come over here, nurse. Who is that gentleman?

 **NURSE**

He is the son and heir of old Tiberio.

 **JULIET**

Who's the one who's going out the door right now?

 **NURSE**

Well, that one, I think, is young Petruchio.

 **JULIET**

Who's the one following over there, the one who wouldn't dance?

 **NURSE**

I don't know his name.

 **JULIET**

Go ask. _(the nurse leaves)_ If he's married, I think I'll die rather than marry anyone else.

 **NURSE**

 _(returning)_ His name is Romeo. He's a Montague. He's the only son of your worst enemy.

 **JULIET**

 _(to herself)_ The only man I love is the son of the only man I hate! I saw him too early without knowing who he was, and I found out who he was too late! Love is a monster for making me fall in love with my worst enemy.

 **NURSE**

What's this? What's this?

 **JULIET**

Just a rhyme I learned from somebody I danced with at the party.

 _Somebody calls, "Juliet!" from offstage._

 **NURSE**

Right away, right away. Come, let's go. The strangers are all gone.

 _They exit._


	8. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Prologue

Act 2, Prologue

* * *

The **CHORUS** enters.

Now Romeo's old feelings of desire are dying, and a new desire is eager to take their place. Romeo groaned for the beautiful Rosaline and said he would die for her, but compared with tender Juliet, Rosaline doesn't seem beautiful now.

Now someone loves Romeo, and he's in love again—both of them falling for each others' good looks. But he has to make his speeches of love to a woman who's supposed to be his enemy. And she's been hooked by someone she should fear. Because he's an enemy, Romeo has no chance to see Juliet and say the things a lover normally says. And Juliet's just as much in love as he, but she has even less opportunity to meet her lover. But love gives them power, and time gives them the chance to meet, sweetening the extreme danger with intense pleasure.

The **CHORUS** exits.


	9. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 1

Act 2, Scene 1

* * *

 _ **ROMEO** enters alone._

 **ROMEO**

Can I go away while my heart stays here? I have to go back to where my heart is.

 _ **ROMEO** moves away. **BENVOLIO** and **MERCUTIO** enter._

 **BENVOLIO**

 _(calling)_ Romeo, my cousin, Romeo, Romeo!

 **MERCUTIO**

He's a smart boy. I bet he slipped away and went home to bed.

 **BENVOLIO**

He ran this way and jumped over this orchard wall. Call to him, Mercutio.

 **MERCUTIO**

I'll conjure him as if I were summoning a spirit.

Romeo! Madman! Passion! Lover! Show yourself in the form of a sigh. Speak one rhyme, and I'll be satisfied. Just cry out, "Ah me!" Just say "love" and "dove." Say just one lovely word to my good friend Venus. Just say the nickname of her blind son Cupid, the one who shot arrows so well in the old story.—Romeo doesn't hear me. He doesn't stir. He doesn't move. The silly ape is dead, but I must make him appear.—I summon you by Rosaline's bright eyes, by her high forehead and her red lips, by her fine feet, by her straight legs, by her trembling thighs, and by the regions right next to her thighs. In the name of all of these things, I command you to appear before us in your true form.

 **BENVOLIO**

If he hears you, you'll make him angry.

 **MERCUTIO**

What I'm saying can't anger him. He would be angry if I summoned a strange spirit for her to have sex with—that's what would make him angry. The things I'm saying are fair and honest. All I'm doing is saying the name of the woman he loves to lure him out of the darkness.

 **BENVOLIO**

Come on. He's hidden behind these trees to keep the night company. His love is blind, so it belongs in the dark.

 **MERCUTIO**

If love is blind, it can't hit the target. Now he'll sit under a medlar tree and wish his mistress were one of those fruits that look like female genitalia. Oh Romeo, I wish she _were_ an open-arse, and you a Popperin pear to "pop her in." Good night, Romeo. I'll go to my little trundle bed. This open field is too cold a place for me to sleep. _(to_ BENVOLIO _)_ Come on, should we go?

 **BENVOLIO**

Let's go. There's no point in looking for him if he doesn't want to be found.

 _ **BENVOLIO** and **MERCUTIO** exit._


	10. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2

Act 2, Scene 2

* * *

 _ **ROMEO** returns._

 **ROMEO**

It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut.

 _ **JULIET** enters on the balcony._

But wait, what's that light in the window over there? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Rise up, beautiful sun, and kill the jealous moon. The moon is already sick and pale with grief because you, Juliet, her maid, are more beautiful than she.

Don't be her maid, because she is jealous. Virginity makes her look sick and green. Only fools hold on to their virginity. Let it go.

Oh, there's my lady! Oh, it is my love. Oh, I wish she knew how much I love her. She's talking, but she's not saying anything. So what? Her eyes are saying something. I will answer them. I am too bold. She's not talking to me. Two of the brightest stars in the whole sky had to go away on business, and they're asking her eyes to twinkle in their places until they return. What if her eyes were in the sky and the stars were in her head?—The brightness of her cheeks would outshine the stars the way the sun outshines a lamp. If her eyes were in the night sky, they would shine so brightly through space that birds would start singing, thinking her light was the light of day. Look how she leans her hand on her cheek. Oh, I wish I was the glove on that hand so that I could touch that cheek.

 **JULIET**

Oh, my!

 **ROMEO**

 _(to himself)_ She speaks. Oh, speak again, bright angel. You are as glorious as an angel tonight. You shine above me, like a winged messenger from heaven who makes mortal men fall on their backs to look up at the sky, watching the angel walking on the clouds and sailing on the air.

 **JULIET**

 _(not knowing_ ROMEO _hears her)_ Oh, Romeo, Romeo, why do you have to be Romeo? Forget about your father and change your name. Or else, if you won't change your name, just swear you love me and I'll stop being a Capulet.

 **ROMEO**

 _(to himself)_ Should I listen for more, or should I speak now?

 **JULIET**

 _(still not knowing_ ROMEO _hears her)_ It's only your name that's my enemy. You'd still be yourself even if you stopped being a Montague. What's a Montague anyway? It isn't a hand, a foot, an arm, a face, or any other part of a man. Oh, be some other name! What does a name mean? The thing we call a rose would smell just as sweet if we called it by any other name. Romeo would be just as perfect even if he wasn't called Romeo. Romeo, lose your name. Trade in your name—which really has nothing to do with you—and take all of me in exchange.

 **ROMEO**

 _(to_ JULIET _)_ I trust your words. Just call me your love, and I will take a new name. From now on I will never be Romeo again.

 **JULIET**

Who are you? Why do you hide in the darkness and listen to my private thoughts?

 **ROMEO**

I don't know how to tell you who I am by telling you a name. I hate my name, dear saint, because my name is your enemy. If I had it written down, I would tear up the paper.

 **JULIET**

I haven't heard you say a hundred words yet, but I recognize the sound of your voice. Aren't you Romeo? And aren't you a Montague?

 **ROMEO**

I am neither of those things if you dislike them.

 **JULIET**

Tell me, how did you get in here? And why did you come? The orchard walls are high, and it's hard to climb over them. If any of my relatives find you here they'll kill you because of who you are.

 **ROMEO**

I flew over these walls with the light wings of love. Stone walls can't keep love out. Whatever a man in love can possibly do, his love will make him try to do it. Therefore your relatives are no obstacle.

 **JULIET**

If they see you, they'll murder you.

 **ROMEO**

Alas, one angry look from you would be worse than twenty of your relatives with swords. Just look at me kindly, and I'm invincible against their hatred.

 **JULIET**

I'd give anything to keep them from seeing you here.

 **ROMEO**

The darkness will hide me from them. And if you don't love me, let them find me here. I'd rather they killed me than have to live without your love.

 **JULIET**

Who told you how to get here below my bedroom?

 **ROMEO**

Love showed me the way—the same thing that made me look for you in the first place. Love told me what to do, and I let love borrow my eyes. I'm not a sailor, but if you were across the farthest sea, I would risk everything to gain you.

 **JULIET**

You can't see my face because it's dark out. Otherwise, you'd see me blushing about the things you've heard me say tonight. I would be happy to keep up good manners and deny the things I said. But forget about good manners. Do you love me? I know you'll say "yes," and I'll believe you. But if you swear you love me, you might turn out to be lying. They say Jove laughs when lovers lie to each other. Oh Romeo, if you really love me, say it truly. Or if you think it's too easy and quick to win my heart, I'll frown and play hard-to-get, as long as that will make you try to win me, but otherwise I wouldn't act that way for anything. In truth, handsome Montague, I like you too much, so you may think my behavior is loose. But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove myself more faithful than girls who act coy and play hard-to-get. I should have been more standoffish, I confess, but you overheard me talking about the love in my heart when I didn't know you were there. So excuse me, and do not assume that because you made me love you so easily my love isn't serious.

 **ROMEO**

Lady, I swear by the sacred moon above, the moon that paints the tops of fruit trees with silver—

 **JULIET**

Don't swear by the moon. The moon is always changing. Every month its position in the sky shifts. I don't want you to turn out to be that inconsistent too.

 **ROMEO**

What should I swear by?

 **JULIET**

Don't swear at all. But if you have to swear, swear by your wonderful self, which is the god I worship like an idol, and then I'll believe you.

 **ROMEO**

If my heart's dear love—

 **JULIET**

Well, don't swear. Although you bring me joy, I can't take joy in this exchange of promises tonight. It's too crazy. We haven't done enough thinking. It's too sudden. It's too much like lightning, which flashes and then disappears before you can say, "it's lightning." My sweet, good night. Our love, which right now is like a flower bud in the summer air, may turn out to be a beautiful flower by the next time we meet. I hope you enjoy the same sweet peace and rest I feel in my heart.

 **ROMEO**

Oh, are you going to leave me so unsatisfied?

 **JULIET**

What satisfaction could you possibly have tonight?

 **ROMEO**

I would be satisfied if we made each other true promises of love.

 **JULIET**

I pledged my love to you before you asked me to. Yet I wish I could take that promise back, so I had it to give again.

 **ROMEO**

You would take it back? Why would you do that, my love?

 **JULIET**

Only to be generous and give it to you once more. But I'm wishing for something I already have. My generosity to you is as limitless as the sea, and my love is as deep. The more love I give you, the more I have. Both loves are infinite.

 _The **NURSE** calls from offstage._

I hear a noise inside. Dear love, goodbye—Just a minute, good Nurse. Sweet Montague, be true. Stay here for a moment. I'll come back.

 _ **JULIET** exits._

 **ROMEO**

Oh, blessed, blessed night! Because it's dark out, I'm afraid all this is just a dream, too sweet to be real.

 _ **JULIET** enters on her balcony._

 **JULIET**

Three words, dear Romeo, and then it's good night for real. If your intentions as a lover are truly honorable and you want to marry me, send me word tomorrow. I'll send a messenger to you, and you can pass on a message telling me where and when we'll be married. I'll lay all my fortunes at your feet and follow you, my lord, all over the world.

 **NURSE**

 _(offstage)_ Madam!

 **JULIET**

 _(to the_ NURSE _)_ I'll be right there! _(to_ ROMEO _)_ But if you don't have honorable intentions, I beg you—

 **NURSE**

 _(offstage)_ Madam!

 **JULIET**

Alright, I'm coming!—I beg you to stop trying for me and leave me to my sadness. Tomorrow I'll send the messenger.

 **ROMEO**

My soul depends on it—

 **JULIET**

A thousand times good night.

 _ **JULIET** exits._

 **ROMEO**

Leaving you is a thousand times worse than being near you. A lover goes toward his beloved as enthusiastically as a schoolboy leaving his books, but when he leaves his girlfriend, he feels as miserable as the schoolboy on his way to school.

 _ **ROMEO** starts to leave. **JULIET** returns, on her balcony._

 **JULIET**

Hist, Romeo! Hist! Oh, I wish I could make a falconer's call, so I could bring my little falcon back again. I'm trapped in my family's house, so I must be quiet. Otherwise I would rip open the cave where Echo sleeps. I would make her repeat his name until her voice grew more hoarse than mine by repeating, "My Romeo!"

 **ROMEO**

My soul is calling out my name. The sound of lovers calling each others names through the night is silver-sweet. It's the sweetest sound a lover ever hears.

 **JULIET**

Romeo!

 **ROMEO**

My baby hawk?

 **JULIET**

What time tomorrow should I send a messenger to you?

 **ROMEO**

By nine o'clock.

 **JULIET**

I won't fail. From now until then seems like twenty years. I have forgotten why I called you back.

 **ROMEO**

Let me stand here until you remember your reason.

 **JULIET**

I'll forget it, and you'll have to stand there forever. I'll only remember how much I love your company.

 **ROMEO**

I'll keep standing here, even if you keep forgetting. I'll forget that I have any home besides this spot right here.

 **JULIET**

It's almost morning. I want to make you go, but I'd only let you go as far as a spoiled child lets his pet bird go. He lets the bird hop a little from his hand and then yanks him back by a string.

 **ROMEO**

I wish I was your bird.

 **JULIET**

My sweet, so do I. But I would kill you by petting you too much. Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow that I'll say good night until tonight becomes tomorrow.

 _ **JULIET** exits._

 **ROMEO**

I hope you sleep peacefully. I wish I were Sleep and Peace, so I could spend the night with you. Now I'll go see my priest, to ask for his help and tell him about my good luck.

 _He exits._


	11. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 3

Act 2, Scene 3

* * *

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** enters by himself, carrying a basket._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

The smiling morning is replacing the frowning night. Darkness is stumbling out of the sun's path like a drunk man. Now, before the sun comes up and burns away the dew, I have to fill this basket of mine with poisonous weeds and medicinal flowers.

The Earth is nature's mother and also nature's tomb. Plants are born out of the Earth, and they are buried in the Earth when they die. From the Earth's womb, many different sorts of plants and animals come forth, and the Earth provides her children with many excellent forms of nourishment. Everything nature creates has some special property, and each one is different. Herbs, plants, and stones possess great power. There is nothing on Earth that is so evil that it does not provide the earth with some special quality. And there is nothing that does not turn bad if it's put to the wrong use and abused. Virtue turns to vice if it's misused. Vice sometimes becomes virtue through the right activity.

 _ **ROMEO** enters_

Inside the little rind of this weak flower, there is both poison and powerful medicine. If you smell it, you feel good all over your body. But if you taste it, you die. There are two opposite elements in everything, in men as well as in herbs—good and evil. When evil is dominant, death soon kills the body like cancer.

 **ROMEO**

Good morning, father.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

God bless you. Who greets me so early in the morning? Young man, something's wrong if you're getting out of bed this early. Every old man has worries, and worried men never get any sleep, but young men shouldn't have a care in the world. They should get to bed early and get plenty of sleep. Therefore, the fact that you're awake this early tells me you've been upset with some anxiety. If that's not the case, then this must be the answer: You, Romeo, have not been to bed tonight.

 **ROMEO**

Your last guess is right. I enjoyed a sweeter rest than sleep.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

May God forgive you if you've sinned!—Were you with Rosaline?

 **ROMEO**

With Rosaline, father? No, I have forgotten that girl and all the sadness she brought me.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

That's good, my boy. But where have you been?

 **ROMEO**

I'll tell you before you have to ask me again. I have been feasting with my enemy. Suddenly someone wounded me with love and was wounded with love by me. You have the sacred power to cure both of us. I carry no hatred, holy man, because my request will benefit my enemy.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Speak plainly, make your meaning clear, my son. A jumbled confession can only receive a jumbled absolution.

 **ROMEO**

I love rich Capulet's daughter. I love her, and she loves me. We're bound to each other in every possible way, except we need you to marry us. I'll tell you more later about when and where we met, how we fell in love, and how we exchanged promises, but now I'm begging you: please, agree to marry us today.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Holy Saint Francis, this is a drastic change! Have you given up so quickly on Rosaline, whom you loved so much? Then young men love with their eyes, not with their hearts. Jesus and Mary, how many tears did you cry for Rosaline? How many salty tear-drops did you waste salting a love you never tasted? The sun hasn't yet melted away the fog you made with all your sighs. The groans you used to make are still ringing in my old ears. There's still a stain on your cheek from an old tear that hasn't been washed off yet. If you were ever yourself, and this sadness was yours, you and your sadness were all for Rosaline. And now you've changed? Then repeat this after me: you can't expect women to be faithful when men are so unreliable.

 **ROMEO**

You scolded me often for loving Rosaline.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I scolded you for obsessing about her, not for loving her, my student.

 **ROMEO**

And you told me to bury my love.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I didn't tell you to get rid of one love and replace her with another.

 **ROMEO**

Please, I beg you, don't scold me. The girl I love now returns my love. The other girl did not love me.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Oh, she knew very well that you were acting like you were in love without really knowing what love means. But come on, inconsistent young man, come with me. I'll help you with your secret wedding. This marriage may be lucky enough to turn the hatred between your families into pure love.

 **ROMEO**

Let's get out of here. I'm in a rush.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Go wisely and slowly. Those who rush stumble and fall.

 _They exit._


	12. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 4

Act 2, Scene 4

* * *

 _ **BENVOLIO** and **MERCUTIO** enter._

 **MERCUTIO**

Where the devil can Romeo be? Didn't he come home last night?

 **BENVOLIO**

Not to his father's house. I asked a servant.

 **MERCUTIO**

That fair-skinned, hard-hearted hussy, Rosaline is going to torment him until he goes insane.

 **BENVOLIO**

Tybalt, old Capulet's nephew, has sent a letter to Romeo's father's house.

 **MERCUTIO**

I bet it's a challenge.

 **BENVOLIO**

Romeo will answer the challenge.

 **MERCUTIO**

Any man who knows how to write can answer a letter.

 **BENVOLIO**

No, Romeo will respond to the letter's writer, telling him whether he accepts the challenge.

 **MERCUTIO**

Oh, poor Romeo! He's already dead. He's been stabbed by a white girl's black eye. He's been cut through the ear with a love song. The center of his heart has been split by blind Cupid's arrow. Is he man enough at this point to face off with Tybalt?

 **BENVOLIO**

Why, what's Tybalt's story?

 **MERCUTIO**

He's tougher than the Prince of Cats. He does everything by the book. He fights like you sing at a recital, paying attention to time, distance, and proportion. He takes the proper breaks: one, two, and the third in your heart. He's the butcher who can hit any silk button. A master of duels. He's a gentleman from the finest school of fencing. He knows how to turn any argument into a swordfight. He knows _passado_ —the forward thrust—the _punto reverso_ —the backhand thrust—and the _hai_ —the thrust that goes straight through.

 **BENVOLIO**

He knows what?

 **MERCUTIO**

I hate these crazy, affected guys who use foreign phrases and newfangled expressions. I hate their strange manners and their weird accents! I hate it when they say, "By Jesus, this is a very good blade, a very brave man, a very good whore." Isn't this a sad thing, my good man? Why should we put up with these foreign buzzards, these fashionmongers, these guys who say "pardon me," these guys who care so much about manners that they can't kick back on a bench without whining? "Oh, my aching bones!"

 _ **ROMEO** enters._

 **BENVOLIO**

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

 **MERCUTIO**

He looks skinny, like a dried herring without its eggs, and he hasn't got his girl. O flesh, flesh, you've turned pale and weak like a fish. Now he's ready for Petrarch's poetry. Compared to Romeo's girl, Laura was a kitchen slave. Surely she has a better love to make rhymes for her. Dido was shabbily dressed. Cleopatra was a gypsy girl. Helen and Hero were sluts and harlots. Thisbe might have had a blue eye or two, but that doesn't matter. Signor Romeo, _bonjour._ There's a French greeting that matches your drooping French-style pants. You faked us out pretty good last night.

 **ROMEO**

Good morning to you both. What do you mean I faked you out?

 **MERCUTIO**

You gave us the slip, sir, the slip. Can't you understand what I'm saying?

 **ROMEO**

Excuse me, good Mercutio. I had very important business to take care of. It was so important that I had to forget about courtesy and good manners.

 **MERCUTIO**

In other words "important business" made you flex your buttocks.

 **ROMEO**

You mean do a curtsy?

 **MERCUTIO**

You've hit the target, sir.

 **ROMEO**

That's a very polite and courteous explanation.

 **MERCUTIO**

Yes, I am the pink flower—the master, of courtesy and manners.

 **ROMEO**

The pink flower.

 **MERCUTIO**

Right.

 **ROMEO**

Well, then my pump is well decorated with flowers.

 **MERCUTIO**

Alright my witty friend, this joke has worn out your pump. Its thin skin is all worn out. The joke is all you have left.

 **ROMEO**

This is a bad joke. It's all silliness.

 **MERCUTIO**

Come break this up, Benvolio. I'm losing this duel of wits.

 **ROMEO**

Keep going, keep going, or I'll declare myself the winner.

 **MERCUTIO**

Now, if our jokes go on a wild-goose chase, I'm finished. You have more wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five of mine. Was I even close to you in the chase for the goose?

 **ROMEO**

You were never with me for anything if you weren't there for the goose.

 **MERCUTIO**

I'll bite you on the ear for that joke.

 **ROMEO**

No, good goose, don't bite me.

 **MERCUTIO**

Your joke is a very bitter apple. Your humor is a spicy sauce.

 **ROMEO**

Then isn't it just the right dish for a sweet goose?

 **MERCUTIO**

Oh, that's a joke made out of leather that spreads itself thin, from the width of an inch to as fat as a yard.

 **ROMEO**

I stretch my joke for that word "fat." If you add that word to the word "goose," it shows that you are a fat goose.

 **MERCUTIO**

Why, isn't all this joking better than groaning about love? Now you're sociable. Now you're Romeo. Now you are what you've learned to be and what you are naturally. This love of yours was like a blithering idiot who runs up and down looking for a hole to hide his toy in.

 **BENVOLIO**

Stop there, stop there.

 **MERCUTIO**

You want me to stop my tale before I'm done.

 **BENVOLIO**

Otherwise your tale would have gotten too long.

 **MERCUTIO**

Oh, you're wrong. I would have made it short. I had come to the deepest part of my tale, and I planned to say nothing more on the topic.

 _The **NURSE** enters with her servant, **PETER**._

 **ROMEO**

Here's something good.

 **BENVOLIO**

A sail, a sail!

 **MERCUTIO**

There's two—a man and a woman.

 **NURSE**

Peter!

 **PETER**

I'm at your service.

 **NURSE**

Give me my fan, Peter.

 **MERCUTIO**

Good Peter, give her her fan to hide her face. Her fan is prettier than her face.

 **NURSE**

Good morning, gentlemen.

 **MERCUTIO**

Good afternoon, fair lady.

 **NURSE**

Is it now afternoon?

 **MERCUTIO**

It's not earlier than that, I tell you. The lusty hand of the clock is now pricking noon.

 **NURSE**

Get out of here! What kind of man are you?.

 **MERCUTIO**

I'm a man, my lady, that God has made for himself to ruin.

 **NURSE**

I swear, you speak the truth. "For himself to ruin," he says. Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I can find young Romeo?

 **ROMEO**

I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you find him than he was when you started looking for him. I am the youngest man by that name, because there is no one younger, or worse.

 **NURSE**

You speak well.

 **MERCUTIO**

Is the worst well? Very well taken, I believe, very wise.

 **NURSE**

 _(to_ ROMEO _)_ If you're the Romeo I'm looking for, sir, I would like to have a confidence with you.

 **BENVOLIO**

She will indite him to some dinner party.

 **MERCUTIO**

A pimp! A pimp! A pimp! I've found it out.

 **ROMEO**

What have you found out?

 **MERCUTIO**

She's not a prostitute unless she's using her ugliness to hide her promiscuity.

 _(he walks by them and sings)_

 _'Old rabbit meat is good to eat,_

 _If you can't get anything else._

 _But if it's so old,_

 _That it goes bad before you eat it,_

 _Then it was a waste of money.'_

 _(speaking)_

Romeo, will you come to your father's? We'll to dinner, thither.

Romeo, are you going to your father's for lunch? Let's go there.

 **ROMEO**

I'll follow after you.

 **MERCUTIO**

Goodbye, old lady. Goodbye, lady, lady, lady.

Mercutio mockingly sings a romantic song to the Nurse.

Goodbye, old lady. Goodbye, lady, lady, lady.

 _ **BENVOLIO** and **MERCUTIO** exit._

 **NURSE**

Please tell me, sir, who was that foulmouthed punk who was so full of crude jokes?

 **ROMEO**

Nurse, he's a man who likes to hear the sound of his own voice. He says more in one minute than he does in a whole month.

 **NURSE**

If he says anything against me, I'll humble him, even if he were stronger than he is—and twenty punks like him. If I can't do it myself, I'll find someone who can. That dirty rat! I'm not one of his sluts. I'm not one of his punk friends who carries a knife. _(to_ PETER _)_ And you just stand there letting every jerk make fun of me for kicks.

 **PETER**

I didn't see anybody use you for kicks. If I had seen something like that, I would have quickly pulled out my weapon. Believe me, I'll draw my sword as quick as any other man if I see a fight starting and the law is on my side.

 **NURSE**

Now, I swear, I'm so angry that I'm shaking all over. That rotten scoundrel! _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Now, please, may I have a word with you, sir? My young mistress asked me to find you. What she asked me to say I'll keep to myself. But let me tell you this first. If you lead her into a fool's paradise, as the saying goes, it would be an outrageous crime because the girl is so young. And if you try to trick her, it would be an evil thing to do to any woman and very poor behavior.

 **ROMEO**

Nurse, give my regards to to your lady. I swear to you—

 **NURSE**

You have a good heart, and believe me, I'll tell her that. Lord, Lord, she'll be a happy woman.

 **ROMEO**

What are you going to tell her, Nurse? You're not paying attention to me.

 **NURSE**

Sir, I'll tell her that you protest to her, which I think is the gentlemanly thing to do..

 **ROMEO**

Tell her to devise a plan to get out of her house and come to confession at the abbey this afternoon. At Friar Lawrence's cell she can make confession and be married. _(giving her coins)_ Here is a reward for your efforts.

 **NURSE**

No, really, I won't take a penny.

 **ROMEO**

Go on, I insist you take it.

 **NURSE**

 _(taking the money)_ This afternoon, sir? She'll be there.

 **ROMEO**

Wait good Nurse. Within an hour, one of my men will come to you behind the abbey wall and give you a rope ladder. I'll use the rope ladder to climb over the walls at night. Then I'll meet Juliet joyfully and in secret. Goodbye. Be honest and helpful, and I'll repay you for your efforts. Goodbye. Sing my praises to your mistress.

 **NURSE**

May God in heaven bless you. Now please listen, sir.

 **ROMEO**

What do you have to say, my dear Nurse?

 **NURSE**

Can your man keep a secret? Haven't you ever heard the saying, "Two can conspire to put one away"?

 **ROMEO**

I assure you, my man is as true as steel.

 **NURSE**

Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord, when she was a little baby—Oh, there is one nobleman in the city, a guy named Paris, who would be happy to claim her as his own. Juliet would rather look at a toad than at him. I make her angry sometimes by saying that Paris is more handsome than you are. But when I say so, I swear she turns white as a sheet. Don't "rosemary" and "Romeo" begin with the same letter?

 **ROMEO**

Yes, Nurse, what about that? They both begin with the letter "R."

 **NURSE**

Ah, you jokester—that's the dog's name. "R" is for the—no, I know it begins with another letter. She says the most beautiful things about you and rosemary. It would be good for you to hear the things she says.

 **ROMEO**

Give my compliments to your lady.

 **NURSE**

Yes, a thousand times. Peter!

 **PETER**

I'm ready.

 **NURSE**

 _(giving_ PETER _her fan)_ Go ahead. Go quickly.

 _They all exit._


	13. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 5

Act 2, Scene 5

* * *

 _ **JULIET** enters._

 **JULIET**

I sent the Nurse at nine o'clock. Maybe she can't find him. That can't be. Oh, she's slow! Love's messengers should be thoughts, which fly ten times faster than sunbeams. They should be strong enough to push shadows over the dark hills. That's the way doves carry Venus so fast, and that's why Cupid has wings that let him fly as fast as the wind. Now it's noon. That's three hours since nine o'clock, but she hasn't come back. If she was young and passionate, she'd move as fast as a ball. My words would bounce her to my sweet love, and his words would bounce her back to me. But a lot of old people act like they're already dead—sluggish, slow, fat, and colorless, like lead.

 _The **NURSE** and **PETER** enter._

Oh my God, here she comes! Oh sweet Nurse, what news do you bring? Have you spoken to him? Send your man away.

 **NURSE**

Peter, wait for me at the gate.

 _ **PETER** exits._

 **JULIET**

Now, good sweet Nurse—Oh Lord, why do you look so sad? Even if the news is sad, tell me with a smile on your face. If the news is good, you're ruining the sweet news by playing a trick with a sour face like that.

 **NURSE**

I am tired. Leave me alone for a minute. Oh my, my bones ache so much. I've been running all over the place.

 **JULIET**

I wish you had my bones, and I had your news. Come on now, I beg you, speak, good Nurse, speak.

 **NURSE**

Sweet Jesus, you're in such a hurry! Can't you wait for a moment? Don't you see that I'm out of breath?

 **JULIET**

How can you be out of breath when you have enough breath to tell me that you're out of breath? The excuse you make to delay the news is longer than the news itself. Is the news good or bad? Answer that question. Tell me if it's good or bad, and I'll wait for the details. Tell me so I can be satisfied. Is it good or bad?

 **NURSE**

Well, you have made a foolish choice. You don't know how to pick a man. Romeo? No, not him, though his face is more handsome than any man's, and his legs are prettier, and as for his hands and feet and body, they're not much to speak of, and yet they're beyond compare. He's not the most polite man in the world, but, believe me, he's gentle as a lamb. Well, do what you want. Be good. Have you had lunch yet?

 **JULIET**

No, I haven't had lunch. Everything you told me I already knew. What does he say about our marriage? What about that?

 **NURSE**

Lord, what a headache I've got! My head is pounding. It feels like it'll break into twenty pieces. My back aches too— _(_ JULIET _rubs her back)_ Ooh, on the other side—ah, my poor aching back! Curse your heart for sending me running all over town. I could get sick and die.

 **JULIET**

Believe me, I'm sorry you're in pain. Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse, tell me, what did my love Romeo say?

 **NURSE**

Your love says, like an honorable gentleman, who is courteous, kind, handsome, and, I believe, virtuous— where is your mother?

 **JULIET**

Where is my mother? Why, she's inside. Where else would she be? Your answer is so strange! "Your love says, like an honorable gentleman, 'Where is your mother?'"

 **NURSE**

Oh holy Mary, mother of God! Are you this impatient? Come on, you're being ridiculous! Is this the cure for my aching bones? From now on, take care of your messages yourself.

 **JULIET**

You're making such a fuss. Come on, what did Romeo say?

 **NURSE**

Do you have permission to go out and take confession today?

 **JULIET**

I do.

 **NURSE**

Then hurry up and rush over to Friar Lawrence's cell. There's a husband there who's waiting to make you his wife. Now I see the blood rushing to your cheeks. You blush bright red as soon as you hear any news. Go to the church. I must go by a different path to get a rope ladder. Your love will use it to climb up to your window while it's dark. I do the drudge work for your pleasure. But soon you'll be doing a wife's work all night long. Go. I'll go to lunch. You go to Friar Lawrence's cell.

 **JULIET**

Wish me luck. Thank you, dear Nurse.

 _They exit._


	14. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 6

Act 2, Scene 6

* * *

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** and **ROMEO** enter._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

May the heavens be happy with this holy act of marriage, so nothing unfortunate happens later to make us regret it.

 **ROMEO**

Amen, amen. But whatever misfortunes occur, they can't ruin the joy I feel with one look at her. All you have to do is join our hands with holy words, then love-destroying death can do whatever it pleases. It's enough for me if I can call her mine.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

These sudden joys have sudden endings. They burn up in victory like fire and gunpowder. When they meet, as in a kiss, they explode. Too much honey is delicious, but it makes you sick to your stomach. Therefore, love each other in moderation. That is the key to long-lasting love. Too fast is as bad as too slow.

 _ **JULIET** enters in a rush and embraces **ROMEO**._

Here comes the lady. Oh, a footstep as light as hers will never endure the rocky road of life. Lovers are so light they can walk on a spiderweb floating on a summer breeze, and yet not fall. That's how flimsy and unreal pleasure is.

 **JULIET**

Good evening, my spiritual confessor.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Romeo will thank you, my girl, for both of us.

 **JULIET**

I'll give him equal thanks, so we're even.

 **ROMEO**

Ah, Juliet if you're as happy as I am, and you're better with words, tell me about the happiness you imagine we'll have in our marriage.

 **JULIET**

I can imagine more than I can say—I have more on my mind than words. Anyone who can count how much he has is poor. My true love has made me so rich that I can't count even half of my wealth.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Come, come with me, and we'll do the job quickly. Because if you don't mind, I'm not leaving you two alone until you're united in marriage.

 _They exit._


	15. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 1

Act 3, Scene 1

* * *

 _ **MERCUTIO** , his page, and **BENVOLIO** enter with other men._

 **BENVOLIO**

I'm begging you, good Mercutio, let's call it a day. It's hot outside, and the Capulets are wandering around. If we bump into them, we'll certainly get into a fight. When it's hot outside, people become angry and hot-blooded.

 **MERCUTIO**

You're like one of those guys who walks into a bar, slams his sword on the table, and then says, "I pray I never have to use you." By the time he orders his second drink, he pulls his sword on the bartender for no reason at all.

 **BENVOLIO**

Am I really like one of those guys?

 **MERCUTIO**

Come on, you can be as angry as any guy in Italy when you're in the mood. When someone does the smallest thing to make you angry, you get angry. And when you're in the mood to get angry, you find something to get angry about.

 **BENVOLIO**

And what about that?

 **MERCUTIO**

If there were two men like you, pretty soon there'd be none because the two of you would kill each other. You would fight with a man if he had one more whisker or one less whisker in his beard than you have in your beard. You'll fight with a man who's cracking nuts just because you have hazelnut-colored eyes. Only you would look for a fight like that. Your head is as full of fights as an egg is full of yolk, but your head has been beaten like scrambled eggs from so much fighting. You started a fight with a man who coughed in the street because he woke up a dog that was sleeping in the sun. Didn't you argue it out with your tailor for wearing one of his new suits before the right season? And with another for tying the new shoes he made with old laces? And yet you're the one who wants to teach me about restraint!

 **BENVOLIO**

If I were in the habit of fighting the way you are, my life insurance rates would be sky high.

 **MERCUTIO**

Your life insurance? That's foolish.

 _ **TYBALT** , **PETRUCHIO** , and **CAPULETS** enter._

 **BENVOLIO**

Oh great, here come the Capulets.

 **MERCUTIO**

Well, well, I don't care.

 **TYBALT**

 _(to_ PETRUCCIO _and others)_ Follow me closely, I'll talk to them. _(to the_ MONTAGUES _)_ Good afternoon, gentlemen. I'd like to have a word with one of you.

 **MERCUTIO**

You just want one word with one of us? Put it together with something else. Make it a word and a blow.

 **TYBALT**

You'll find me ready enough to do that, sir, if you give me a reason.

 **MERCUTIO**

Can't you find a reason without my giving you one?

 **TYBALT**

Mercutio, you hang out with Romeo.

 **MERCUTIO**

"Hang out?" Who do you think we are, musicians in a band? If we look like musicians to you, you can expect to hear nothing but noise. _(touching the blade of his sword)_ This is my fiddlestick. I'll use it to make you dance. Goddammit—"Hang out!"

 **BENVOLIO**

We're talking here in a public place. Either go someplace private, or talk it over rationally, or else just go away. Out here everybody can see us.

 **MERCUTIO**

Men's eyes were made to see things, so let them watch. I won't move to please anybody.

 _ **ROMEO** enters._

 **TYBALT**

Well, may peace be with you. Here comes my man, the man I'm looking for.

 **MERCUTIO**

He's not your man. Alright, walk out into a field, and he'll chase you. In that sense you can call him your "man."

 **TYBALT**

Romeo, there's only one thing I can call you. You're a villain.

 **ROMEO**

Tybalt, I have a reason to love you that lets me put aside the rage I should feel and excuse that insult. I am no villain. So, goodbye. I can tell that you don't know who I am.

 **TYBALT**

Boy, your words can't excuse the harm you've done to me. So now turn and draw your sword.

 **ROMEO**

I disagree. I've never done you harm. I love you more than you can understand until you know the reason why I love you. And so, good Capulet—which is a name I love like my own name—you should be satisfied with what I say.

 **MERCUTIO**

This calm submission is dishonorable and vile. The thrust of a sword will end this surrender. _(draws his sword)_ Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you go fight me?

 **TYBALT**

What do you want from me?

 **MERCUTIO**

Good King of Cats, I want to take one of your nine lives. I'll take one, and, depending on how you treat me after that, I might beat the other eight out of you too. Will you pull your sword out of its sheath? Hurry up, or I'll smack you on the ears with my sword before you have yours drawn.

 **TYBALT**

I'll fight you. _(he draws his sword)_

 **ROMEO**

Noble Mercutio, put your sword away.

 **MERCUTIO**

 _(to_ TYBALT _)_ Come on, sir, perform your forward thrust, your _passado._

 _ **MERCUTIO** and **TYBALT** fight_

 **ROMEO**

 _(drawing his sword)_ Draw your sword, Benvolio. Let's beat down their weapons. Gentlemen, stop this disgraceful fight. Tybalt, Mercutio, the Prince has banned fighting in the streets of Verona. Stop, Tybalt. Stop, good Mercutio.

 _ **ROMEO** tries to break up the fight. **TYBALT** reaches under **ROMEO** 's arm and stabs **MERCUTIO**._

 **PETRUCHIO**

Let's get away, Tybalt.

 _ **TYBALT** , **PETRUCHIO** , and the other **CAPULETS** exit._

 **MERCUTIO**

I've been hurt. May a plague curse both your families. I'm finished. Did he get away clean?

 **BENVOLIO**

What, are you hurt?

 **MERCUTIO**

Yes, yes. It's a scratch, just a scratch. But it's enough. Where is my page? Go, boy. Get me a doctor.

 _ **MERCUTIO'S PAGE** exits._

 **ROMEO**

Have courage, man. The wound can't be that bad.

 **MERCUTIO**

No, it's not as deep as a well, or as wide as a church door, but it's enough. It'll do the job. Ask for me tomorrow, and you'll find me in a grave. I'm done for in this world, I believe. May a plague strike both your houses. Goddammit! I can't believe that dog, that rat, that mouse, that cat could scratch me to death! That braggart, punk villain who fights like he learned swordsmanship from a manual! Why the hell did you come in between us? He struck me from under your arm.

 **ROMEO**

I thought it was the right thing to do.

 **MERCUTIO**

Take me inside some house, Benvolio, or I'll pass out. May a plague strike both your families! They've turned me into food for worms. I'm done for. Curse your families!

 _ **MERCUTIO** and **BENVOLIO** exit._

 **ROMEO**

This gentleman Mercutio, a close relative of the Prince and my dear friend, was killed while defending me from Tybalt's slander—Tybalt, who had been my cousin for a whole hour! Oh, sweet Juliet, your beauty has made me weak like a woman, and you have softened my bravery, which before was as hard as steel.

 _ **BENVOLIO** enters._

 **BENVOLIO**

Oh Romeo, Romeo, brave Mercutio is dead! His brave spirit has floated up to heaven, but it was too early for him to leave life on earth.

 **ROMEO**

The future will be affected by today's terrible events. Today is the start of a terror that will end in the days ahead.

 _ **TYBALT** enters._

 **BENVOLIO**

Here comes the furious Tybalt back again.

 **ROMEO**

He's alive and victorious, and Mercutio's dead? Enough with mercy and consideration. It's time for rage to guide my actions. Now, Tybalt, you can call me "villain" the way you did before. Mercutio's soul is floating right above our heads. He's waiting for you to keep him company on the way up to heaven. Either you, or I, or both of us have to go with him.

 **TYBALT**

Wretched boy, you hung out with him here, and you're going to go to heaven with him.

 **ROMEO**

This fight will decide who dies.

 _They fight. **TYBALT** falls and dies_

 **BENVOLIO**

Romeo, get out of here. The citizens are around, and Tybalt is dead. Don't stand there shocked. The Prince will give you the death penalty if you get caught. So get out of here!

 **ROMEO**

Oh, I have awful luck.

 **BENVOLIO**

Why are you waiting?

 _ROMEO exits._

 _The **CITIZENS OF THE WATCH** enter._

 **CITIZEN OF THE WATCH**

The man who killed Mercutio, which way did he go? Tybalt, that murderer, which way did he run?

 **BENVOLIO**

Tybalt is lying over there.

 **CITIZEN OF THE WATCH**

 _(to_ TYBALT _)_ Get up, sir, and come with me. I command you, by the authority of the Prince, to obey me.

 _The **PRINCE** enters with **MONTAGUE** , **CAPULET** , **LADY MONTAGUE** , **LADY CAPULET** , and **OTHERS**._

 **PRINCE**

Where are the evil men who started this fight?

 **BENVOLIO**

Oh, noble prince, I can tell you everything about the unfortunate circumstances of this deadly fight. Over there Tybalt is lying dead. He killed your relative, brave Mercutio, and then young Romeo killed him.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Tybalt was my nephew! He was my brother's son! Oh Prince, oh nephew, oh husband! Oh, my nephew is dead! Oh Prince, as you are a man of honor, take revenge for this murder by killing someone from the Montague family. Oh cousin, cousin!

 **PRINCE**

Benvolio, who started this fight?

 **BENVOLIO**

Tybalt started the fight before he was killed by Romeo. Romeo spoke to Tybalt politely and told him how silly this argument was. He mentioned that you would not approve of the fight. He said all of this gently and calmly, kneeling down out of respect. But he could not make peace with Tybalt, who was in an angry mood and wouldn't listen to talk about peace. Tybalt and Mercutio began to fight each other fiercely, lunging at one another and dodging each other's blows. Romeo cried out, "Stop, my friends. Break it up." Then he jumped in between them and forced them to put their swords down. But Tybalt reached under Romeo's arm and thrust his sword into brave Mercutio. Then Tybalt fled the scene.

But pretty soon he came back to meet Romeo, who was overcome with the desire for revenge. As quick as lightning, they started fighting. Before I could break up the fight, Tybalt was killed. Romeo ran away when Tybalt fell dead. I'm telling you the truth, I swear on my life.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Benvolio is part of the Montague family. His loyalties to the Montagues make him tell lies. He's not telling the truth. There were twenty Montagues fighting in this awful riot, and together those twenty could only kill one man. I demand justice. You, Prince, are the man who can give me justice. Romeo killed Tybalt. Romeo must die.

 **PRINCE**

Romeo killed Tybalt. Tybalt killed Mercutio. Who should now pay the price for Mercutio's life?

 **MONTAGUE**

Not Romeo, Prince. He was Mercutio's friend. His crime did justice's job by taking Tybalt's life.

 **PRINCE**

And for that crime, Romeo is hereby exiled from Verona. I'm involved in your rivalry. Mercutio was my relative, and he lies dead because of your bloody feud. I'll punish you so harshly that you'll regret causing me this loss. I won't listen to your pleas or excuses. You can't get out of trouble by praying or crying, so don't bother. Tell Romeo to leave the city immediately, or else, if he is found, he will be killed. Take away this body, and do what I say. Showing mercy by pardoning killers only causes more murders.

 _They exit._


	16. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 2

Act 3, Scene 2

* * *

 _ **JULIET**_ _enters alone._

I wish the sun would hurry up and set and night would come immediately. When the night comes and everyone goes to sleep, Romeo will leap into my arms, and no one will know. Beauty makes it possible for lovers to see how to make love in the dark. Or else love is blind, and its best time is the night. I wish night would come, like a widow dressed in black, so I can learn how to submit to my husband and lose my virginity. Let the blood rushing to my cheeks be calmed. In the darkness, let me, a shy virgin, learn the strange act of sex so that it seems innocent, modest, and true. Come, night. Come, Romeo. You're like a day that comes during the night. You're whiter than snow on the black wings of a raven. Come, gentle night. Come, loving, dark night. Give me my Romeo. And when I die, turn him into stars and form a constellation in his image. His face will make the heavens so beautiful that the world will fall in love with the night and forget about the garish sun. Oh, I have bought love's mansion, but I haven't moved in yet.I belong to Romeo now, but he hasn't taken possession of me yet. This day is so boring that I feel like a child on the night before a holiday, waiting to put on my fancy new clothes.

 _The **NURSE** enters with the rope ladder in her pouch._

Oh, here comes my Nurse, and she brings news. Every voice that mentions Romeo's name sounds beautiful. Now, Nurse, what's the news? Is that the rope ladder Romeo told you to pick up?

 **NURSE**

Yes, yes, this is the rope ladder.

 **JULIET**

Oh my, what's the news? Why do you look so upset?

 **NURSE**

Oh, it's a sad day! He's dead. He's dead. He's dead! We're ruined, lady, we're ruined! What an awful day! He's gone. He's been killed. He's dead!

 **JULIET**

Can God be so jealous and hateful?

 **NURSE**

Romeo is hateful, even though God isn't. Oh, Romeo, Romeo, who ever would have thought it would be Romeo?

 **JULIET**

What kind of devil are you to torture me like this? This is as bad as the tortures of hell. Has Romeo killed himself? Just say "Yes" and I will turn more poisonous than the snake with the evil eye. I will no longer be myself if you tell me Romeo killed himself. If he's been killed, say "Yes." If not, say "No." These short words will determine my joy or my pain.

 **NURSE**

I saw the wound. I saw it with my own eyes. God bless that wound, here on his manly chest. A pitiful corpse, a bloody, pitiful corpse.

Pale as ashes and drenched in blood. All the dried blood was so gory. I fainted when I saw it.

 **JULIET**

Oh, my heart is breaking. Oh, my bankrupt heart is breaking. I'll send my eyes to prison, and they'll never be free to look at anything again. I'll give my vile body back to the earth. I'll never move again. My body and Romeo's will lie together in one sad coffin.

 **NURSE**

Oh, Tybalt, Tybalt, he was the best friend I had. Oh, polite Tybalt, he was an honorable gentleman. I wish I had not lived long enough to see him die.

 **JULIET**

What disaster is this? Has Romeo been killed, and is Tybalt dead too? Tybalt was my dearest cousin. Romeo was even dearer to me as my husband. Let the trumpets play the song of doom, because who can be alive if those two are gone?

 **NURSE**

Tybalt is dead, and Romeo has been banished. Romeo killed Tybalt, and his punishment was banishment.

 **JULIET**

Oh God, did Romeo's hand shed Tybalt's blood?

 **NURSE**

It did, it did. Curse the day this happened, but it did.

 **JULIET**

Oh, he's like a snake disguised as a flower. Did a dragon ever hide in such a beautiful cave? He's a beautiful tyrant and a fiendish angel! He's a raven with the feathers of the dove. He's a lamb who hunts like a wolf! I hate him, yet he seemed the most wonderful man. He's turned out to be the exact opposite of what he seemed. He's a saint who should be damned. He's a villain who seemed honorable. Oh nature, what were you doing in hell? Why did you put the soul of a criminal in the perfect body of a man? Was there ever such an evil book with such a beautiful cover? Oh, I can't believe the deepest evil lurked inside something so beautiful!

 **NURSE**

There is no trust, no faith, no honesty in men. All of them lie. All of them cheat. They're all wicked. Ah, where's my servant?—Give me some brandy.—These griefs, these pains, these sorrows make me old. Shame on Romeo!

 **JULIET**

I hope sores cover your tongue for a wish like that! He was not born to be shameful. Shame does not belong with Romeo. He deserves only honor, complete honor. Oh, I was such a beast to be angry at him.

 **NURSE**

Are you going to say good things about the man who killed your cousin?

 **JULIET**

Am I supposed to say bad things about my own husband? Ah, my poor husband, who will sing your praises when I, your wife of three hours, have been saying awful things about you? But why, you villain, did you kill my cousin? Probably because my cousin the villain would have killed my husband. I'm not going to cry any tears. I would cry with joy that Romeo is alive, but I should cry tears of grief because Tybalt is dead. My husband, whom Tybalt wanted to kill, is alive. Tybalt, who wanted to kill my husband, is dead. All this is comforting news. Why, then, should I cry? There is news worse than the news that Tybalt is dead, news that makes me want to die. I would be glad to forget about it, but it weighs on my memory like sins linger in guilty minds. "Tybalt is dead, and Romeo has been banished."

That banishment is worse than the murder of ten thousand Tybalts. Tybalt's death would be bad enough if that was all. Maybe pain likes to have company and can't come without bringing more pain. It would have been better if, after she said, "Tybalt's dead," she told me my mother or my father, or both, were gone. That would have made me make the normal cries of sadness. But to say that Tybalt's dead and then say, "Romeo has been banished." To say that is like saying that my father, my mother, Tybalt, Romeo, and Juliet have all been killed, they're all dead. "Romeo has been banished." That news brings infinite death. No words can express the pain. Where are my father and my mother, Nurse?

 **NURSE**

They are crying and moaning over Tybalt's corpse. Are you going to join them? I'll bring you there.

 **JULIET**

Are they washing out his wounds with their tears? I'll cry my tears for Romeo's banishment when their tears are dry. Pick up this rope ladder. This poor rope ladder, it's useless now, just like me, because Romeo has been exiled. He made this rope ladder to be a highway to my bed, but I am a virgin, and I will die a virgin and a widow. Let's go, rope ladder. Nurse, I'm going to lie in my wedding bed. And death, not Romeo, can take my virginity!

 **NURSE**

Go to your bedroom. I'll find Romeo to comfort you. I know where he is. Listen, your Romeo will be here tonight. I'll go to him. He's hiding out in Friar Lawrence's cell.

 **JULIET**

 _(giving her a ring)_ Oh, find him! Give this ring to my true knight! And tell him to come here to say his last goodbye.

 _They exit._


	17. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 3

Act 3, Scene 3

* * *

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** enters._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Romeo, come out. Come out, you frightened man. Trouble likes you, and you're married to disaster.

 _ **ROMEO** enters._

 **ROMEO**

Father, what's the news? What punishment did the Prince announce? What suffering lies in store for me that I don't know about yet?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

You know too much about suffering. I have news for you about the Prince's punishment.

 **ROMEO**

Is the Prince's punishment any less awful than doomsday?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

He made a gentler decision. You won't die, but you'll be banished from the city.

 **ROMEO**

Ha, banishment? Be merciful and say "death." Exile is much worse than death. Don't say "banishment."

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

From now on, you are banished from Verona. You should be able to endure this because the world is broad and wide.

 **ROMEO**

There is no world for me outside the walls of Verona, except purgatory, torture, and hell itself. So to be banished from Verona is like being banished from the world, and being banished from the world is death.

Banishment is death by the wrong name. Calling death banishment is like cutting off my head with a golden ax and smiling while I'm being murdered.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Oh, deadly sin! Oh, rude and unthankful boy! You committed a crime that is punishable by death, but our kind Prince took sympathy on you and ignored the law when he substituted banishment for death. This is kind mercy, and you don't realize it.

 **ROMEO**

It's torture, not mercy. Heaven is here because Juliet lives here. Every cat and dog and little mouse, every unworthy animal that lives here can see her, but Romeo can't. Flies are healthier and more honorable and better suited for romance than Romeo. They can take hold of Juliet's wonderful white hand and they can kiss her sweet lips. Even while she remains a pure virgin, she blushes when her lips touch each other because she thinks it's a sin. But Romeo can't kiss her or hold her hand because he's been banished. Flies can kiss her, but I must flee the city. Flies are like free men, but I have been banished. And yet you say that exile is not death? Did you have no poison, no sharp knife, no weapon you could use to kill me quickly, nothing so disgraceful, except banishment? Oh Friar, damned souls use the word banishment to describe hell. They howl about banishment. If you're a member of a divine spiritual order of men who forgive sins, and you say you're my friend, how do you have the heart to mangle me with the word banishment?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

You foolish madman, listen to me for a moment.

 **ROMEO**

Oh, you're just going to talk about banishment again.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I'll give you protection from that word. I'll give you the antidote for trouble: philosophy. Philosophy will comfort you even though you've been banished.

 **ROMEO**

You're still talking about "banished?" Forget about philosophy! Unless philosophy can create a Juliet, or pick up a town and put it somewhere else, or reverse a prince's punishment, it doesn't do me any good. Don't say anything else.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Oh, so madmen like you are also deaf.

 **ROMEO**

How should madmen hear, if wise men can't even see?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Let me talk to you about your situation.

 **ROMEO**

You can't talk about something that you don't feel. If you were as young as I am, if you were in love with Juliet, if you had just married her an hour ago, if then you murdered Tybalt, if you were lovesick like me, and if you were banished, then you might talk about it. You might also tear your hair out of your head and collapse to the ground the way I do right now. _(_ ROMEO _falls on the ground)_ You might kneel down and measure the grave that hasn't yet been dug.

 _Knocking from offstage._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Get up. Somebody's knocking. Hide yourself, good Romeo.

 **ROMEO**

I won't hide unless all the mist from my heartsick groans envelopes me like fog and conceals me from people's searching eyes.

 _Knocking._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Listen, they're still knocking!— _(to the person at the door)_ Who's there?— _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Romeo, get up. They'll arrest you.— _(to the person at the door)_ Hold on a moment.— _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Get up.

 _Knocking_

Run and hide in my study.—Just a minute—For the love of God, why are you being so stupid? I'm coming. I'm coming.

 _Knocking._

Why are you knocking so hard? Where do you come from? What do you want?

 **NURSE**

( _from offstage_ ) Let me come in, and I'll tell you why I came. I come from Lady Juliet.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

 _(opening the door)_ Welcome, then.

 _The **NURSE** enters._

 **NURSE**

Oh, holy Friar, Oh, tell me, holy Friar, where is my lady's husband? Where's Romeo?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

He's there on the ground. He's been getting drunk on his own tears.

 **NURSE**

Oh, he's acting just like Juliet, just like her. Oh painful sympathy! What a pitiful problem! She's lying on the ground just like him, blubbering and weeping, weeping and blubbering. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up if you're really a man. For Juliet's sake, for her sake, rise and stand up. Why should you fall into so deep a moan?

 **ROMEO**

Nurse!

 **NURSE**

Ah sir, ah sir. Well, death is the end for everybody.

 **ROMEO**

Were you talking about Juliet? How is she? Does she think that I'm a practiced murderer because I tainted our newfound joy by killing one of her close relatives? Where is she? How is she doing? What does my hidden wife say about our ruined love?

 **NURSE**

Oh, she doesn't say anything, sir. She just weeps and weeps. She falls on her bed and then starts to get up. Then she calls out Tybalt's name and cries "Romeo," and then she falls down again.

 **ROMEO**

She's calling out my name as if I were a bullet murdering her, just like I murdered her relative. Tell me, Friar, in what part of my body is my name embedded? Tell me, so I can cut it out of myself. _(he draws his dagger)_

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Hold on, and don't act out of desperation. Are you a man? You look like a man, but your tears make you look like a woman. Your wild actions resemble the irrational fury of a beast. You're a shameful woman who looks like a man or else an ugly creature who's half-man, half-beast. You have amazed me. I swear by my holy order, I thought you were smarter and more rational than this. Have you killed Tybalt? Will you kill yourself? And would you also kill your wife, who shares your life, by committing the sin of killing yourself? Why do you complain about your birth, the heavens, and the earth? Life is the union of soul in body through the miracle of birth, but you would throw all that away. You bring shame to your body, your love, and your mind. You have so much natural talent, but like someone who hoards money, you use none of your talent for the right purpose—not your body, not your love, not your mind. Your body is just a wax figure, without the honor of a man. The love that you promised was a hollow lie. You're killing the love that you vowed to cherish. Your mind, which aids both your body and your love, has mishandled both of them. You're like a stupid soldier whose gunpowder explodes because he's careless. The things you were supposed to use to defend yourself end up killing you. Get up, man! Your Juliet is alive. It was for her that you were almost killed earlier. Be happy that she's alive. Tybalt wanted to kill you, but you killed Tybalt. Be happy that you're alive. The law that threatened your life was softened into exile. Be happy about that. Your life is full of blessings. You have the best sorts of happiness to enjoy.

But like a misbehaved, sullen girl, you're whining about your bad luck and your love. Listen, listen, people who act like that die miserable. Go be with your love, as it was decided at your wedding. Climb up to her bedroom and comfort her. But get out of there before the night watchmen take their positions. Then you will escape to the city of Mantua, where you'll live until we can make your marriage public and make peace between your families. We'll ask the Prince to pardon you. Then we'll welcome you back with twenty thousand times more joy than you'll have when you leave this town crying. Go ahead, Nurse. Give my regards to your lady, and tell her to hurry everybody in the house to bed. I'm sure they're all so sad that they'll be ready to sleep. Romeo is coming.

 **NURSE**

O Lord, I could stay here all night listening to such good advice. Educated men are so impressive! _(speaking to_ ROMEO _)_ My lord, I'll tell my lady you will come.

 **ROMEO**

Do so, and tell my sweet to be ready to scold me.

 **NURSE**

Here, sir, this is a ring she asked me to give you. Hurry up, it's getting late. _(she gives_ ROMEO JULIET _'s ring)_

 _The NURSE exits._

 **ROMEO**

This makes me feel so much better!

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Now get out of here. Good night. Everything depends on this: either be out of here before the night watchmen take their positions, or leave in disguise after daybreak. Take a little vacation in Mantua. I'll find your servant, and he'll update you now and then on your case as it stands here. Give me your hand. It's late. Farewell. Good night.

 **ROMEO**

I'm off to experience the greatest joy of all, but still it's sad to leave you in such a rush. Farewell.

 _They exit._


	18. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 4

Act 3, Scene 4

* * *

 _Enter **CAPULET** , **LADY CAPULET** , and **PARIS**_

 **CAPULET**

Things have turned out so unluckily, sir, that we haven't had time to convince our daughter to marry you. Listen, she loved her cousin Tybalt dearly, and so did I. Well, we were all born to die. It's very late, she won't be coming downstairs tonight. Believe me, if you weren't here visiting me, I myself would have gone to bed an hour ago.

 **PARIS**

These times of pain are bad times for romance. Madam, good night. Give my regards to your daughter.

 **LADY CAPULET**

I will. And I'll find out what she thinks about marriage early tomorrow. Tonight she is shut up in her room, alone with her sadness.

 **CAPULET**

Sir Paris, I'll make a desperate argument for my child's love. I think she'll do whatever I say. No, I think she'll do all that and more. I have no doubt about it. Wife, visit her in her room before you go to bed. Tell her about my son Paris's love for her. And tell her, listen to me, on Wednesday—Wait—What day is today?

 **PARIS**

Monday, my lord.

 **CAPULET**

Monday! Ha, ha! Well, Wednesday is too soon. Let it be on Thursday. On Thursday, tell her, she'll be married to this noble earl. Will you be ready? Do you think it's a good idea to rush? We shouldn't have too big a celebration—we can invite a friend or two. Listen, because Tybalt was just killed, people might think that we don't care about his memory as our relative if we have too grand a party. Therefore we'll have about half a dozen friends to the wedding, and that's it. What do you think about Thursday?

 **PARIS**

My lord, I wish Thursday were tomorrow.

 **CAPULET**

Well go on home. Thursday it is, then. _(to_ LADY CAPULET _)_ Visit Juliet before you go to bed. Get her ready, my wife, for this wedding day. _(to_ PARIS _)_ Farewell, my lord. Now I'm off to bed. Oh my! It's so late that we might as well call it early. Good night.

 _They all exit._


	19. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 5

Act 3, Scene 5

* * *

 **ROMEO** and **JULIET** enter above the stage.

 **JULIET**

Are you going? It's still a long time until daybreak. Don't be afraid. That sound you heard was the nightingale, not the lark. Every night the nightingale chirps on that pomegranate-tree. Believe me, my love, it was the nightingale.

 **ROMEO**

It was the lark, the bird that sings at dawn, not the nightingale. Look, my love, what are those streaks of light in the clouds parting in the east? Night is over, and day is coming. If I want to live, I must go. If I stay, I'll die.

 **JULIET**

That light is not daylight, I know it. It's some meteor coming out of the sun to light your way to Mantua. So stay for a while. You don't have to go yet.

 **ROMEO**

Let me be captured. Let me be put to death. I am content, if that's the way you want it. I'll say the light over there isn't morning. I'll say it's the reflection of the moon. I'll say that sound isn't the lark ringing in the sky. I want to stay more than I want to go. Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wants it this way. How are you, my love? Let's talk. It's not daylight.

 **JULIET**

It is, it is. Get out of here, be gone, go away! It's the lark that sings so out of tune, making such harsh noise. Some say the lark makes a sweet division between day and night. It's not true because she separates us. Some say the lark traded its eyes with the toad

A folktale said that the lark had gotten its ugly eyes from the toad, who had taken its pretty eyes from the lark.

Some say the lark traded its eyes with the toad. Oh, now I wish they had traded voices too! Because the lark's voice tears us out of each other's arms, and now there will be men hunting for you. Oh, go away now. I see more and more light.

 **ROMEO**

More and more light. More and more pain for us.

 _The **NURSE** enters._

 **NURSE**

Madam.

 **JULIET**

Nurse?

 **NURSE**

Your mother is coming to your bedroom. Day has broken. Be careful. Watch out.

 _The **NURSE** exits._

 **JULIET**

Then the window lets day in, and life goes out the window.

 **ROMEO**

Farewell, farewell! Give me one kiss, and I'll go down.

 _They kiss. **ROMEO** drops the ladder and goes down_

 **JULIET**

Are you gone like that, my love, my lord? Yes, my husband, my friend! I must hear from you every day in the hour. In a minute there are many days. Oh, by this count I'll be many years older before I see my Romeo again.

 **ROMEO**

Farewell! I won't miss any chance to send my love to you.

 **JULIET**

Oh, do you think we'll ever meet again?

 **ROMEO**

I have no doubts. All these troubles will give us stories to tell each other later in life.

 **JULIET**

Oh God, I have a soul that predicts evil things! Now that you are down there, you look like someone dead in the bottom of a tomb. Either my eyesight is failing me, or you look pale.

 **ROMEO**

And trust me, love, you look pale to me too. Sadness takes away our color. Goodbye, Goodbye!

 _ **ROMEO** exits._

 **JULIET**

Oh luck, luck. Everyone says you can't make up your mind. If you change your mind so much, what are you going to do to Romeo, who's so faithful? Change your mind, luck. I hope maybe then you'll send him back home soon.

 **LADY CAPULET**

 _(offstage)_ Hey, daughter! Are you awake?

 **JULIET**

Who's that calling? Is it my mother? Isn't she up very late? Or is she up very early? What strange reason could she have for coming here?

 _ **LADY CAPULET** enters._

 **LADY CAPULET**

What's going on, Juliet?

 **JULIET**

Madam, I am not well.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Will you cry about your cousin's death forever? Are you trying to wash him out of his grave with tears? If you could, you couldn't bring him back to life. So stop crying. A little bit of grief shows a lot of love. But too much grief makes you look stupid.

 **JULIET**

Let me keep weeping for such a great loss.

 **LADY CAPULET**

You will feel the loss, but the man you weep for will feel nothing.

 **JULIET**

Feeling the loss like this, I can't help but weep for him forever.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Well, girl, you're weeping not for his death as much as for the fact that the villain who killed him is still alive.

 **JULIET**

What villain, madam?

 **LADY CAPULET**

That villain, Romeo.

 **JULIET**

 _(speaking so that_ LADY CAPULET _can't hear)_ He's far from being a villain. _(to_ LADY CAPULET _)_ May God pardon him! I do, with all my heart. And yet no man could make my heart grieve like he does.

 **LADY CAPULET**

That's because the murderer is alive.

 **JULIET**

Yes, madam, he lies beyond my reach. I wish that no one could avenge my cousin's death except me!

 **LADY CAPULET**

We'll have revenge for it. Don't worry about that. Stop crying. I'll send a man to Mantua, where that exiled rogue is living. Our man will poison Romeo's drink, and Romeo will join Tybalt in death. And then, I hope, you'll be satisfied.

 **JULIET**

I'll never be satisfied with Romeo until I see him . . . dead—dead is how my poor heart feels when I think about my poor cousin. Madam, if you can find a man to deliver the poison, I'll mix it myself so that Romeo will sleep quietly soon after he drinks it. Oh, how I hate to hear people say his name and not be able to go after him. I want to take the love I had for my cousin and take it out on the body of the man who killed him.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Find out the way, and I'll find the right man. But now I have joyful news for you, girl.

 **JULIET**

And it's good to have joy in such a joyless time. What's the news? Please tell me.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Well, well, you have a careful father, child. He has arranged a sudden day of joy to end your sadness. A day that you did not expect and that I did not seek out.

 **JULIET**

Madam, tell me quickly, what day is that?

 **LADY CAPULET**

Indeed, my child, at Saint Peter's Church early Thursday morning, the gallant, young, and noble gentleman Count Paris will happily make you a joyful bride.

 **JULIET**

Now, I swear by Saint Peter's Church and Peter too, he will not make me a joyful bride there. This is a strange rush. How can I marry him, this husband, before he comes to court me? Please, tell my father, madam, I won't marry yet. And, when I do marry, I swear, it will be Romeo, whom you know I hate, rather than Paris. That's really news!

 **LADY CAPULET**

Here comes your father. Tell him so yourself, and see how he takes the news.

 _ **CAPULET** and the **NURSE** enter._

 **CAPULET**

When the sun sets, the air drizzles dew. But at the death of my brother's son, it rains a downpour. What are you, girl? Some kind of fountain? Why are you still crying? Will you cry forever? In one little body you seem like a ship, the sea, and the winds. Your eyes, which I call the sea, flow with tears. The ship is your body which is sailing on the salt flood of your tears. The winds are your sighs. Your sighs and your tears are raging. Unless you calm down, tears and sighs will overwhelm your body and sink your ship. So where do things stand, wife? Have you told her our decision?

 **LADY CAPULET**

Yes, sir, I told her. But she won't agree. She says thank you but refuses. I wish the fool were dead and married to her grave!

 **CAPULET**

Wait! Hold on, wife. I don't understand. How can this be? She refuses? Isn't she grateful? Isn't she proud of such a match? Doesn't she realize what a blessing this is? Doesn't she realize how unworthy she is of the gentleman we have found to be her bridegroom?

 **JULIET**

I am not proud of what you have found for me. But I am thankful that you have found it. I can never be proud of what I hate. But I can be thankful for something I hate, if it was meant with love.

 **CAPULET**

What is this? What is this fuzzy logic? What is this? I hear you say "proud" and "I thank you," and then "no thank you" and "not proud," you spoiled little girl. You're not really giving me any thanks or showing me any pride. But get yourself ready for Thursday. You're going to Saint Peter's Church to marry Paris. And if you don't go on your own, I'll drag you there. You disgust me, you little bug! You worthless girl! You pale face!

 **LADY CAPULET**

Shame on you! What, are you crazy?

 **JULIET**

Good father, I'm begging you on my knees, be patient and listen to me say just one thing.

 **CAPULET**

Forget about you, you worthless girl! You disobedient wretch! I'll tell you what. Go to church on Thursday or never look me in the face again. Don't say anything. Don't reply. Don't talk back to me.

 _(_ JULIET _rises)_

I feel like slapping you. Wife, we never thought ourselves blessed that God only gave us this one child. But now I see that this one is one too many. We were cursed when we had her. She disgusts me, the little hussy!

 **NURSE**

God in heaven bless her! My lord, you're wrong to berate her like that.

 **CAPULET**

And why, wise lady? You shut up, old woman. Go blabber with your gossiping friends.

 **NURSE**

I've said nothing wrong.

 **CAPULET**

Oh, for God's sake.

 **NURSE**

Can't I say something?

 **CAPULET**

Be quiet, you mumbling fool! Say your serious things at lunch with your gossiping friends. We don't need to hear it.

 **LADY CAPULET**

You're getting too angry.

 **CAPULET**

Goddammit! It makes me mad. Day and night, hour after hour, all the time, at work, at play, alone, in company, my top priority has always been to find her a husband. Now I've provided a husband from a noble family, who is good-looking, young, well-educated. He's full of good qualities.

He's the man of any girl's dreams. But this wretched, whimpering fool, like a whining puppet, she looks at this good fortune and answers, "I won't get married. I can't fall in love. I'm too young. Please, excuse me." Well, if you won't get married, I'll excuse you. Eat wherever you want, but you can no longer live under my roof. Consider that. Think about it. I'm not in the habit of joking. Thursday is coming. Put your hand on your heart and listen to my advice. If you act like my daughter, I'll marry you to my friend. If you don't act like my daughter, you can beg, starve, and die in the streets. I swear on my soul, I will never take you back or do anything for you. Believe me. Think about it. I won't break this promise.

 _ **CAPULET** exits._

 **JULIET**

Is there no pity in the sky that can see my sadness? Oh, my sweet mother, don't throw me out! Delay this marriage for a month, or a week. Or, if you don't delay, make my wedding bed in the tomb where Tybalt lies.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Don't talk to me, because I won't say a word. Do as you please, because I'm done worrying about you.

 _ **LADY CAPULET** exits._

 **JULIET**

Oh God!—Oh Nurse, how can this be stopped? My husband is alive on earth, my vows of marriage are in heaven. How can I bring those promises back down to earth, unless my husband sends them back down to me by dying and going to heaven? Give me comfort. Give me advice. Oh no! Oh no! Why does heaven play tricks on someone as weak as me? What do you say? Don't you have one word of joy? Give me some comfort, Nurse.

 **NURSE**

This is what I have to say: Romeo has been banished. And it's a sure thing that he will never come back to challenge you. If he does come back, he'll have to sneak back undercover. Then, since things are the way they are, I think the best thing to do is to marry the count. Oh, he's a lovely gentleman! Romeo's a dishcloth compared to him. Madam, an eagle does not have eyes as green, as quick, and as fair as the eyes of Paris. Curse my very heart, but I think you should be happy in this second marriage, because it's better than your first. Even if it's not better, your first marriage is over. Or if Romeo is as good as Paris, Romeo doesn't live here, so you don't get to enjoy him.

 **JULIET**

Are you speaking from your heart?

 **NURSE**

I speak from my heart and from my soul too. If not, curse them both.

 **JULIET**

Amen!

 **NURSE**

What?

 **JULIET**

Well, you have given me great comfort. Go inside and tell my mother that I'm gone. I made my father angry, so I went to Friar Lawrence's cell to confess and be forgiven.

 **NURSE**

Alright, I will. This is a good idea.

 _The **NURSE** exits._

 **JULIET**

That damned old lady! Oh, that most wicked fiend! Is it a worse sin for her to want me to break my vows or for her to say bad things about my husband after she praised him so many times before? Away with you and your advice, Nurse. From now on, I will never tell you what I feel in my heart. I'm going to the Friar to find out his solution. If everything else fails, at least I have the power to take my own life.

 _Juliet exits._


	20. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 4, Scene 1

Act 4, Scene 1

* * *

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** and **PARIS** enter._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

On Thursday, sir? That's very soon..

 **PARIS**

That's how my future father-in-law Capulet wants it, and I'm not dragging my feet.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

You say you don't know what the girl thinks. That's a rocky road to be riding. I don't like it.

 **PARIS**

She's grieving too much over the death of Tybalt. So I haven't had the chance to talk to her about love. Romantic love doesn't happen when people are in mourning. Now, sir, her father thinks it's dangerous that she allows herself to become so sad. He's being smart by rushing our marriage to stop her from crying. She cries too much by herself. If she had someone to be with her, she would stop crying. Now you know the reason for the rush.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

 _(to himself)_ I wish I didn't know the reason why the marriage should be slowed down.

Look, sir, here comes the lady walking toward my cell.

 _ **JULIET** enters._

 **PARIS**

I'm happy to meet you, my lady and my wife.

 **JULIET**

That might be the case sir, _after_ I'm married.

 **PARIS**

That "may be" must be, love, on Thursday.

 **JULIET**

What must be will be.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

That is a certain truth.

 **PARIS**

Have you come to make confession to this father?

 **JULIET**

If I answered that question, I'd be making confession to you.

 **PARIS**

Don't deny to him that you love me.

 **JULIET**

I'll confess to you that I love him.

 **PARIS**

You will also confess, I'm sure, that you love me.

 **JULIET**

If I do so, it will mean more if I say it behind your back than if I say it to your face.

 **PARIS**

You poor soul, your face has suffered many tears.

 **JULIET**

The tears haven't done much because my face looked bad enough before I started to cry.

 **PARIS**

You're treating your face even worse by saying that.

 **JULIET**

What I say isn't slander, sir. It's the truth. And what I said, I said to my face.

 **PARIS**

Your face is mine, and you have slandered it.

 **JULIET**

That may be the case, because my face doesn't belong to me.—Do you have time for me now, Father, or should I come to you at evening mass?

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I have time for you now, my sad daughter. _(to_ PARIS _)_ My lord, we must ask you to leave us alone.

 **PARIS**

God forbid that I should prevent sacred devotion! Juliet, I will wake you early on Thursday _. (kissing her)_ Until then, good-bye, and keep this holy kiss.

 _ **PARIS** exits._

 **JULIET**

Oh, shut the door, and after you shut it, come over here and weep with me. This mess is beyond hope, beyond cure, beyond help!

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Oh, Juliet, I already know about your sad situation. It's a problem too hard for me to solve. I hear that you must marry this count on Thursday, and that nothing can delay it.

 **JULIET**

Don't tell me that you've heard about this marriage, Friar, unless you can tell me how to prevent it. If you who are so wise can't help, please be kind enough to call my solution wise. _(she shows him a knife)_ And I'll solve the problem now with this knife. God joined my heart to Romeo's. You joined our hands. And before I—who was married to Romeo by you—am married to another man, I'll kill myself. You are wise and you have so much experience. Give me some advice about the current situation. Or watch. Caught between these two difficulties, I'll act like a judge with my bloody knife. I will truly and honorably resolve the situation that you can't fix, despite your experience and education. Don't wait long to speak. I want to die if what you say isn't another solution.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Hold on, daughter, I see some hope. But we must act boldly because the situation is so desperate. If you've made up your mind to kill yourself instead of marrying Count Paris, then you'll probably be willing to try something like death to solve this shameful problem. You can wrestle with death to escape from shame. And if you dare to do it, I'll give you the solution.

 **JULIET**

Oh, you can tell me to jump off the battle posts of any tower, or to walk down the crime-ridden streets of a slum. Or tell me to sit in a field full of poisonous snakes. Chain me up with wild bears. Hide me every night in a morgue full of dead bodies with wet, smelly flesh and skulls without jawbones. Or tell me to climb down into a freshly dug grave, and hide me with a dead man in his tomb. All those ideas make me tremble when I hear them named. But I will do them without fear or dread in order to be a pure wife to my sweet love.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Hold on, then. Go home, be cheerful, and tell them you agree to marry Paris. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Tomorrow night make sure that you are alone. Don't let the Nurse stay with you in your bedroom. _(showing her a vial)_ When you're in bed, take this vial, mix its contents with liquor, and drink. Then a cold, sleep-inducing drug will run through your veins, and your pulse will stop. Your flesh will be cold, and you'll stop breathing. The red in your lips and your cheeks will turn pale, and your eyes will shut. It will seem like you're dead. You won't be able to move, and your body will be stiff like a corpse. You'll remain in this deathlike state for forty-two hours, and then you'll wake up as if from a pleasant sleep. Now, when the bridegroom comes to get you out of bed on Thursday morning, you'll seem dead. Then, as tradition demands, you'll be dressed up in your best clothes, put in an open coffin, and carried to the Capulet family tomb. Meanwhile, I'll send Romeo word of our plan. He'll come here, and we'll keep a watch for when you wake up. That night, Romeo will take you away to Mantua. This plan will free you from the shameful situation that troubles you now as long as you don't change your mind, or become scared like a silly woman and ruin your brave effort.

 **JULIET**

Give me the vial. Give it to me! Don't talk to me about fear.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

 _(giving her the vial)_ Now go along on your way. Be strong and successful in this decision. I'll send a friar quickly to Mantua with my letter for Romeo.

 **JULIET**

Love will give me strength, and strength will help me accomplish this plan. Goodbye, dear Father.

 _They exit separately._


	21. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 4, Scene 2

Act 4, Scene 2

* * *

 **CAPULET** enters with **LADY CAPULET** , the **NURSE** , and two or three **SERVINGMEN**.

 **CAPULET**

 _(giving the_ FIRST SERVINGMAN _a piece of paper)_ Invite all the guests on this list.

 _The **FIRST SERVINGMAN** exits._

 _(to_ SECOND SERVINGMAN _)_ Boy, go hire twenty skilled cooks.

 **SECOND SERVINGMAN**

You won't get any bad cooks from me. I'll test them by making them lick their fingers.

 **CAPULET**

How can you test them like that?

 **SECOND SERVINGMAN**

Easy, sir. It's a bad cook who can't lick his own fingers. So the cooks who can't lick their fingers aren't hired.

 **CAPULET**

Go, get out of here.

 _The **SECOND SERVINGMAN** exits._

What, is my daughter gone to Friar Lawrence?

We're unprepared for this wedding celebration. _(to the_ NURSE _)_ What, has my daughter gone to see Friar Lawrence?

 **NURSE**

Yes, that's true.

 **CAPULET**

Well, there's a chance he may do her some good. She's a stubborn little brat.

 _ **JULIET** enters_

 **NURSE**

Look, she's come home from confession with a happy look on her face.

 **CAPULET**

So, my headstrong daughter, where have you been?

 **JULIET**

I went somewhere where I learned that being disobedient to my father is a sin. Holy Father Lawrence instructed me to fall on my knees and beg your forgiveness. _(she kneels down)_ Forgive me, I beg you. From now on I'll do whatever you say.

 **CAPULET**

Send for the Count. Go tell him about this. I'll make this wedding happen tomorrow morning.

 **JULIET**

I met the young man at Lawrence's cell. I treated him with the proper love, as well as I could, while still being modest.

 **CAPULET**

Well, I'm glad about this. This is good. Stand up.

 _ **JULIET** stands up._

This is the way it should be. I want to see the count. Yes, alright, go, I say, and bring him here. Now, before God, our whole city owes this friar a great debt.

 **JULIET**

Nurse, will you come with me to my closet and help me pick out the clothes and the jewelry I'll need to wear tomorrow?

 **LADY CAPULET**

No, not until Thursday. There's plenty of time.

 **CAPULET**

Go, Nurse, go with her. We'll have the wedding at the church tomorrow.

 _ **JULIET** and the **NURSE** exit._

 **LADY CAPULET**

Our supplies will be short for the party. It's already almost night.

 **CAPULET**

Don't worry, I will set things in motion. And everything will be alright, I promise you, wife. You should go to Juliet and dress her up. I'm not going to bed tonight. Leave me alone. I'll pretend to be the housewife for once.

 _ **LADY CAPULET** exits._

Hey! What? They're all gone? Well, I will walk by myself to Count Paris to get him ready for tomorrow. My heart is wonderfully happy because this troubled girl has been taken back and now will be married.

 _ **CAPULET** exits._


	22. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 4, Scene 3

Act 4, Scene 3

* * *

 **JULIET** and the **NURSE** enter.

 **JULIET**

Yes, those are the best clothes. But, gentle Nurse, please leave me alone tonight. I have to say a lot of prayers to make the heavens bless me. You know that my life is troubled and full of sin.

 _ **LADY CAPULET** enters._

 **LADY CAPULET**

What, are you busy? Do you need my help?

 **JULIET**

No, madam, we've figured out the best things for me to wear tomorrow at the ceremony. So if it's okay with you, I'd like to be left alone now. Let the Nurse sit up with you tonight. I'm sure you have your hands full preparing for the sudden festivities.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Good night. Go to bed and get some rest. I'm sure you need it.

 _ **LADY CAPULET** and the **NURSE** exit._

 **JULIET**

Good-bye. Only God knows when we'll meet again. There is a slight cold fear cutting through my veins. It almost freezes the heat of life. I'll call them back here to comfort me. Nurse!—Oh, what good would she do here?

In my desperate situation, I have to act alone.

Alright, here's the vial. What if this mixture doesn't work at all? Will I be married tomorrow morning? No, no, this knife will stop it. Lie down right there.

 _(she lays down the knife)_ What if the Friar mixed the potion to kill me? Is he worried that he will be disgraced if I marry Paris after he married me to Romeo? I'm afraid that it's poison. And yet, it shouldn't be poison because he is a trustworthy holy man. What if, when I am put in the tomb, I wake up before Romeo comes to save me? That's a frightening idea. Won't I suffocate in the tomb? There's no healthy air to breathe in there. Will I die of suffocation before Romeo comes? Or if I live, I'll be surrounded by death and darkness. It will be terrible. There will be bones hundreds of years old in that tomb, my ancestors' bones. Tybalt's body will be in there, freshly entombed, and his corpse will be rotting. They say that during the night the spirits are in tombs. Oh no, oh no. I'll wake up and smell awful odors. I'll hear screams that would drive people crazy.

If I wake up too early, won't I go insane with all these horrible, frightening things around me, start playing with my ancestors' bones, and pull Tybalt's corpse out of his death shroud? Will I grab one of my dead ancestor's bones and bash in my own skull? Oh, look! I think I see my cousin Tybalt's ghost. He's looking for Romeo because Romeo killed him with his sword. Wait, Tybalt, wait! Romeo, Romeo, Romeo! Here's a drink. I drink to you.

 _She drinks from the vial and falls on her bed, hidden by her bed curtains._


	23. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 4, Scene 4

Act 4, Scene 4

* * *

 **LADY CAPULET** and the **NURSE** enter.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Wait. Take these keys and get more spices, Nurse.

 **NURSE**

They're calling for dates and quinces in the pastry kitchen.

 _ **CAPULET** enters._

 **CAPULET**

Come on, wake up, wake up, wake up! The second cock crowed. The curfew-bell rang. It's three o'clock. Go get the baked meats, good Angelica. Don't worry about the cost.

 **NURSE**

Go, you old housewife, go. Go to bed, dear. You'll be sick tomorrow because you've stayed up all night.

 **CAPULET**

No, not at all. What? I've stayed up all night many times before for less important matters, and I've never gotten sick.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Yes, you've been a ladies' man in your time. But I'll make sure you don't stay up any later now.

 _ **LADY CAPULET** and the **NURSE** exit._

 **CAPULET**

A jealous woman, a jealous woman!

 _Three or four **SERVINGMEN** enter with spits, logs, and baskets._

Now, fellow, what have you got there?

 **FIRST SERVINGMAN**

Things for the cook, sir. But I don't know what they are.

 **CAPULET**

Hurry up, hurry up.

 _The **FIRST SERVINGMAN** exits._

 _(to_ SECOND SERVINGMAN _)_ You, fetch logs that are drier than these. Call Peter, he'll show you where they are.

 **SECOND SERVINGMAN**

I'm smart enough to find the logs myself without bothering Peter.

 _The **SECOND SERVINGMAN** exits._

 **CAPULET**

Right, and well said. That guy's funny. He's got a head full of logs. Goodness, it's daylight. The count will be here soon with music. At least he said he would. I hear him coming near.

 _Music plays offstage_.

Nurse! Wife! What? Hey, Nurse!

 _The **NURSE** returns._

Go wake Juliet. Go and get her dressed. I'll go and chat with Paris. Hey, hurry up, hurry up! The bridegroom is already here. Hurry up, I say.

 _They exit._


	24. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 4, Scene 5

Act 4, Scene 5

* * *

 _The **NURSE** enters._

 **NURSE**

Mistress! Hey, mistress! Juliet! I bet she's fast asleep. Hey, lamb! Hey, lady! Hey, you lazy bones! Hey, love, I say! Madam! Sweetheart! Hey, bride! What, you don't say a word? You take your beauty sleep now. Get yourself a week's worth of sleep. Tomorrow night, I bet, Count Paris won't let you get much rest. God forgive me. Alright, and amen. How sound asleep she is! I must wake her up. Madam, madam, madam! Yes, let the count take you in your bed. He'll wake you up, I bet. Won't he?

 _(she opens the bed curtains)_ What? You're still dressed in all your clothes. But you're still asleep. I must wake you up. Lady! Lady! Lady! Oh no, oh no! Help, help! My lady's dead! Oh curse the day that I was born! Ho! Get me some brandy! My lord! My lady!

 _ **LADY CAPULET** enters._

 **LADY CAPULET**

What's all the noise in here?

 **NURSE**

Oh, sad day!

 **LADY CAPULET**

What is the matter?

 **NURSE**

Look, look! Oh, what a sad day!

 **LADY CAPULET**

Oh my, Oh my! My child, my reason for living, wake up, look up, or I'll die with you! Help, help! Call for help.

 _ **CAPULET** enters._

 **CAPULET**

For shame, bring Juliet out here. Her bridegroom is here.

 **NURSE**

She's dead, deceased, she's dead. Curse the day!

 **LADY CAPULET**

Curse the day! She's dead, she's dead, she's dead!

 **CAPULET**

No! Let me see her. Oh no! She's cold. Her blood has stopped, and her joints are stiff. She's been dead for some time. She's dead, like a beautiful flower, killed by an unseasonable frost.

 **NURSE**

Oh, sad day!

 **LADY CAPULET**

Oh, this is a painful time!

 **CAPULET**

Death, which has taken her away to make me cry, now ties up my tongue and won't let me speak.

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** and **PARIS** enter with **MUSICIANS**._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Come, is the bride ready to go to church?

 **CAPULET**

She's ready to go, but she'll never return. _(to_ PARIS _)_ Oh son! On the night before your wedding day, death has taken your wife. There she lies. She was a flower, but death deflowered her.

Death is my son-in-law. Death is my heir. My daughter married death. I will die and leave Death everything. Life, wealth, everything belongs to Death.

 **PARIS**

Have I waited so long to see this morning, only to see this?

 **LADY CAPULET**

Accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day! This is the most miserable hour of all time! I had only one child, one poor child, one poor and loving child, the one thing I had to rejoice and comfort myself, and cruel Death has stolen it from me!

 **NURSE**

Oh pain! Oh painful, painful, painful day! The saddest day, most painful day that I ever, ever did behold! Oh day! Oh day! Oh day! Oh hateful day! There has never been so black a day as today. Oh painful day, Oh painful day!

 **PARIS**

She was tricked, divorced, wronged, spited, killed! Death, the most despicable thing, tricked her. Cruel, cruel Death killed her. Oh love! Oh life! There is no life, but my love is dead!

 **CAPULET**

Despised, distressed, hated, martyred, killed! Why did this have to happen now? Why did Death have to ruin our wedding? Oh child! Oh child! My soul and not my child! You are dead! Oh no! My child is dead. My child will be buried, and so will my joys.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Be quiet, for shame! The cure for confusion is not yelling and screaming. You had this child with the help of heaven. Now heaven has her.

She is in a better place. You could not prevent her from dying someday, but heaven will give her eternal life. The most you hope for was for her to marry wealthy and rise up the social ladder—that was your idea of heaven. And now you cry, even though she has risen up above the clouds, as high as heaven itself? Oh, in this love, you love your child so badly, that you go mad, even though she is in heaven. It is best to marry well and die young, better than to be married for a long time. Dry up your tears, and put your rosemary on this beautiful corpse. And, in accordance with custom, carry her to the church in her best clothes. It's natural for us to shed tears for her, but the truth is, we should be happy for her.

 **CAPULET**

All the things that we prepared for the wedding party will now be used for the funeral. Our happy music will now be sad. Our wedding banquet will become a sad burial feast. Our celebratory hymns will change to sad funeral marches. Our bridal flowers will cover a buried corpse. And everything will be used for the opposite purpose from what we intended.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Sir, you go in. And, madam, go with him. And you go too, Sir Paris. Everyone prepare to take this beautiful corpse to her grave. The heavens hang threateningly over you for some past sin. Don't disturb the heavens any more by trying to go against heaven's will.

 _ **CAPULET** , **LADY CAPULET** , **PARIS** , and **FRIAR LAWRENCE** exit._

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

Well, we can put away our pipes and go home.

 **NURSE**

Honest good boys, ah, put 'em away, put 'em away. As you know, this is a sad case.

 _The **NURSE** exits._

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

Yes, well, things could get better.

 _ **PETER** enters._

 **PETER**

Musicians, oh, musicians, play "Heart's Ease," "Heart's Ease." Oh, I'll die if you don't play "Heart's Ease."

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

Why "Heart's Ease"?

 **PETER**

Oh, musicians, because my heart is singing "My Heart is Full of Woe." Oh, play me some happy sad song to comfort me.

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

No, not a sad song. It's not the right time to play.

 **PETER**

You won't, then?

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

No.

 **PETER**

Then I'll really give it to you.

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

What will you give us?

 **PETER**

No money, I swear. But I'll play a trick on you. I'll call you a minstrel.

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

Then I'll call you a serving-creature.

 **PETER**

Then I'll smack you on the head with the serving-creature's knife. I won't mess around. I'll make you sing. Do you hear me?

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

If you make us sing, you'll hear us.

 **SECOND MUSICIAN**

Please, put down your knife and stop kidding around.

 **PETER**

So you don't like my kidding around! I'll kid you to death, and then I'll put down my knife. Answer me like men.

 _(sings)_

 _When sadness wounds your heart,_

 _And pain takes over your mind,_

 _Then music with her silver sound—_

 _(speaks)_ Why the line "silver sound"? What do they mean, "music with her silver sound"? What do you say, Simon Catling?

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

Well, sir, because silver has a sweet sound.

 **PETER**

That's a stupid answer! What do you say, Hugh Rebeck?

 **SECOND MUSICIAN**

I say "silver sound," because musicians play to earn silver.

 **PETER**

Another stupid answer! What do you say, James Soundpost?

 **THIRD MUSICIAN**

Well, I don't know what to say.

 **PETER**

Oh, I beg your pardon. You're the singer. I'll answer for you. It is "music with her silver sound," because musicians have no gold to use to make sounds.

 _(sings)_

 _Then music with her silver sound_ _makes you feel just fine._

 _ **PETER** exits._

 **FIRST MUSICIAN**

What an annoying man, this guy is!

 **SECOND MUSICIAN**

Forget about him, Jack! Come, we'll go in there. We'll wait for the mourners and stay for dinner.

 _The **MUSICIANS** exit._


	25. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 5, Scene 1

Act 5, Scene 1

* * *

 **ROMEO** enters.

 **ROMEO**

If I can trust my dreams, then some joyful news is coming soon. Love rules my heart, and all day long a strange feeling has been making me cheerful. I had a dream that my lady came and found me dead. It's a strange dream that lets a dead man think! She came and brought me back to life by kissing my lips. I rose from the dead and was an emperor. Oh my! How sweet it would be to actually have the woman I love, when merely thinking about love makes me so happy.

 _ **ROMEO** 's servant **BALTHASAR** enters._

Do you have news from Verona!—What is it, Balthasar? Do you bring me a letter from the friar? How is my wife? Is my father well? How is my Juliet? I ask that again because nothing can be wrong if she is well.

 **BALTHASAR**

Then she is well, and nothing is wrong. Her body sleeps in the Capulet tomb, and her immortal soul lives with the angels in heaven. I saw her buried in her family's tomb, and then I came here to tell you the news. Oh, pardon me for bringing this bad news, but you told me it was my job, sir.

 **ROMEO**

Is it really true? Then I rebel against you, stars! You know where I live. Get me some ink and paper, and hire some horses to ride. I will leave here for Verona tonight.

 **BALTHASAR**

Please, sir, have patience. You look pale and wild as if you're going to hurt yourself.

 **ROMEO**

Tsk, you're wrong. Leave me and do what I told you to do. Don't you have a letter for me from the friar?

 **BALTHASAR**

No, my good lord.

 **ROMEO**

No matter. Get on your way and hire those horses. I'll be with you right away.

 _ **BALTHASAR** exits._

Well, Juliet, I'll lie with you tonight. Let's see how. Destructive thoughts come quickly to the minds of desperate men! I remember a pharmacist who lives nearby. I remember he wears shabby clothes and has bushy eyebrows. He makes drugs from herbs. He looks poor and miserable and worn out to the bone. He had a tortoise shell hanging up in his shop as well as a stuffed alligator and other skins of strange fish. There were a few empty boxes on his shelves, as well as green clay pots, and some musty seeds. There were a few strands of string and mashed rose petals on display.

Noticing all this poverty, I said to myself, "If a man needed some poison"—which they would immediately kill you for selling in Mantua—"here is a miserable wretch who'd sell it to him." Oh, this idea came before I needed the poison. But this same poor man must sell it to me. As I remember, this should be the house. Today's a holiday, so the beggar's shop is shut. Hey! Pharmacist!

 _The **APOTHECARY** enters._

 **APOTHECARY**

Who's that calling so loud?

 **ROMEO**

Come here, man. I see that you are poor. Here are forty ducats. Let me have a shot of poison, something that works so fast that the person who takes it will die as fast as gunpowder exploding in a canon.

 **APOTHECARY**

I have lethal poisons like that. But it's against the law to sell them in Mantua, and the penalty is death.

 **ROMEO**

You're this poor and wretched and still afraid to die? Your cheeks are thin because of hunger. I can see in your eyes that you're starving. Anyone can see that you're a beggar. The world is not your friend, and neither is the law. The world doesn't make laws to make you rich. So don't be poor. Break the law, and take this money. _(he holds out money)_

 **APOTHECARY**

I agree because I'm poor, not because I want to.

 **ROMEO**

I pay you because you're poor, not because you want me to buy this.

 **APOTHECARY**

 _(gives_ ROMEO _poison)_ Put this in any kind of liquid you want and drink it down. Even if you were as strong as twenty men, it would kill you immediately.

 **ROMEO**

 _(gives_ APOTHECARY _money)_ There is your gold. Money is a worse poison to men's souls, and commits more murders in this awful world, than these poor poisons that you're not allowed to sell. I've sold _you_ poison. You haven't sold me any. Goodbye. Buy yourself food, and put some flesh on your bones. I'll take this mixture, which is a medicine, not a poison, to Juliet's grave. That's where I must use it.

 _They exit._


	26. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 5, Scene 2

Act 5, Scene 2

* * *

 _ **FRIAR JOHN** enters._

 **FRIAR JOHN**

Holy Franciscan Friar! Brother, hey!

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** enters._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

That sounds like the voice of Friar John. Welcome back from Mantua. What does Romeo say? Or, if he wrote down his thoughts, give me his letter.

 **FRIAR JOHN**

I went to find another poor friar from our order to accompany me. He was here in this city visiting the sick. When I found him, the town health officials suspected that we were both in a house that had been hit with the plague. They quarantined the house, sealed up the doors, and refused to let us out. I couldn't go to Mantua because I was stuck there.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Then who took my letter to Romeo?

 **FRIAR JOHN**

I couldn't send it. Here it is. _(he gives_ FRIAR LAWRENCE _a letter)_ I couldn't get a messenger to bring it to you either because they were scared of spreading the infection.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood, the letter was not just a nice greeting. It was full of very important information. It's very dangerous that it hasn't been sent. Friar John, go and get me an iron crowbar. Bring it straight back to my cell.

 **FRIAR JOHN**

Brother, I'll go and bring it to you.

 _ **FRIAR JOHN** exits._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Now I must go to the tomb alone. Within three hours Juliet will wake up. She'll be very angry with me that Romeo doesn't know what happened. But I'll write again to Mantua, and I'll keep her in my cell until Romeo comes. That poor living corpse. She's shut inside a dead man's tomb!

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** exits._


	27. Modern Romeo and Juliet: Act 5, Scene 3

Act 5, Scene 3

* * *

 **PARIS** enters with his **PAGE**.

 **PARIS**

Give me your torch, boy. Go away and stay apart from me. Put the torch out, so I can't be seen. Hide under the yew-trees over there. Listen to make sure no one is coming through the graveyard. If you hear any one, whistle to me to signal that someone is approaching. Give me those flowers. Do as I tell you. Go.

 _The **PAGE** puts out the torch and gives **PARIS** the flowers._

 **PAGE**

 _(to himself)_ I am almost afraid to stand alone here in the graveyard, but I'll take the risk.

 _The **PAGE** moves aside_

 **PARIS**

 _(he scatters flowers at_ JULIET _'s closed tomb)_ Sweet flower, I'm spreading flowers over your bridal bed. Oh, pain! Your canopy is dust and stones. I'll water these flowers every night with sweet water. Or, if I don't do that, my nightly rituals to remember you will be to put flowers on your grave and weep.

 _The **PAGE** whistles_

The boy is warning me that someone approaches. Who could be walking around here tonight? Who's ruining my rituals of true love?

It's someone with a torch! I must hide in the darkness for awhile.

 _ **PARIS** hides in the darkness. **ROMEO** and **BALTHASAR** enter with a torch, a pickax, and an iron crowbar._

 **ROMEO**

Give me that pickax and the crowbar. _(he takes them from_ BALTHASAR _)_ Here, take this letter. Early in the morning deliver it to my father. _(he gives the letter to_ BALTHASAR _)_ Give me the light. _(he takes the torch from_ BALTHASAR _)_ Swear on your life, I command you, whatever you hear or see, stay away from me and do not interrupt me in my plan. I'm going down into this tomb of the dead, partly to behold my wife's face. But my main reason is to take a precious ring from her dead finger. I must use that ring for an important purpose. So go on your way. But if you get curious and return to spy on me, I swear I'll tear you apart limb by limb and spread your body parts around to feed the hungry animals in the graveyard. My plan is wild and savage. I am more fierce in this endeavor than a hungry tiger or the raging sea.

 **BALTHASAR**

I'll go, sir, and I won't bother you.

 **ROMEO**

That's the way to show me friendship. Take this. _(he gives_ BALTHASAR _money)_ Live and be prosperous. Farewell, good fellow.

 **BALTHASAR**

 _(speaking so that only_ PARIS _can hear)_ Despite what I said, I'll hide nearby. I'm frightened by the look on his face, and I have doubts about his intentions.

 **BALTHASAR** moves aside and falls asleep.

 **ROMEO**

 _(speaking to the tomb)_ You horrible mouth of death! You've eaten up the dearest creature on Earth. Now I'm going to force open your rotten jaws and make you eat another body. _(_ ROMEO _begins to open the tomb with his tools)_

 **PARIS**

 _(speaking so that_ ROMEO _can't hear)_ It's that arrogant Montague, the one who's been banished. He's the one who murdered my love's cousin Tybalt. They think she died with grief for that cousin. This guy has come here to commit awful crimes against the dead bodies. I'll catch him.

 _(to_ ROMEO _)_ Stop your evil work, vile Montague! Can you take revenge on dead bodies? Condemned villain, I've caught you. Obey and come with me. You must die.

 **ROMEO**

I must indeed. That's why I came here. Good and noble young man, don't mess with someone who's desperate. Get away from here and leave me. Think about the ones who have died. Let them put fear in your heart. Please, young man, don't make me angry. I don't want to commit another crime. Oh, go away! I swear, I love you more than I love myself. For I've come here with weapons to use against myself. Don't stay here, go away. Live, and from now on, say a madman mercifully told you to run away.

 **PARIS**

I refuse your request. I'm arresting you as a criminal.

 **ROMEO**

Are you going to provoke me? Alright, let's fight, boy!

 _ **ROMEO** and **PARIS** fight._

 **PAGE**

Oh Lord, they're fighting! I'll go call the watch.

 _The **PAGE** exits._

 **PARIS**

 _(he falls)_ Oh, I've been killed!

If you are merciful, open the tomb and lay me next to Juliet.

 _ **PARIS** dies._

 **ROMEO**

Alright, I will. Let me look at this face. It's Mercutio's relative, noble Count Paris! What did my man say? I was worried, so I wasn't listening to him while we were riding. I think he told me Paris was about to marry Juliet. Isn't that what he said? Or was I dreaming? Or am I crazy? Did I hear him say something about Juliet and jump to conclusions? Oh, give me your hand. Both of us had such bad luck! I'll bury you in a magnificent grave.

 _ **ROMEO** opens the tomb to reveal **JULIET** inside._

A grave? Oh no! This is a lantern, dead Paris. Juliet lies here, and her beauty fills this tomb with light. Dead men, lie there. You are being buried by another dead man. _(he lays_ PARIS _in the tomb)_

How often are men happy right before they die! They call it the lightness before death. Oh, how can I call this lightness? Oh, my love! My wife! Death has sucked the honey from your breath, but it has not yet ruined your beauty. You haven't been conquered. There is still red in your lips and in your cheeks. Death has not yet turned them pale. Tybalt, are you lying there in your bloody death shroud? Oh, what better favor can I do for you than to kill the man who killed you with the same hand that made you die young. Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet, why are you still so beautiful? Should I believe that death is in love with you, and that the awful monster keeps you here to be his mistress? I don't like that idea, so I'll stay with you. And I will never leave this tomb. Here, here I'll remain with worms that are your chamber-maids. Oh, I'll rest here forever. I'll forget about all the bad luck that has troubled me. Eyes, look out for the last time! Arms, make your last embrace! And lips, you are the doors of breath. Seal with a righteous kiss the deal I have made with death forever.

 _(ROMEO kisses JULIET and takes out the poison)_

Come, bitter poison, come, unsavory guide! You desperate pilot, let's crash this sea-weary ship into the rocks! Here's to my love!

 _ROMEO drinks the poison._

Oh, that pharmacist was honest! His drugs work quickly. So I die with a kiss.

 _ **ROMEO** dies._

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** enters with a lantern, crowbar, and shovel._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Saint Francis, help me! How often tonight have my old feet stumbled on gravestones! Who's there?

 **BALTHASAR**

I'm a friend, a friend who knows you well.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

God bless you! Tell me, my good friend, what is that light over there? The one that vainly lights up the darkness for worms and skulls without eyes? It looks to me like it's burning in the Capulet tomb.

 **BALTHASAR**

That is where it's burning, father. My master is there. The one you love.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Who is it?

 **BALTHASAR**

Romeo.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

How long has he been there?

 **BALTHASAR**

For a full half hour.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Go with me to the tomb.

 **BALTHASAR**

I don't dare, sir. My master doesn't know I'm still here. He threatened me with death if I stayed to look at what he was doing.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

Stay, then. I'll go alone. I'm suddenly afraid. Oh, I'm very scared something awful has happened.

 **BALTHASAR**

As I slept under this yew-tree here, I had a dream that my master and someone else were fighting and that my master killed him.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

 _(approaching the tomb)_ Romeo!

Oh no! What is this blood that stains the stony entrance of this tomb? Why are these bloody swords lying here, abandoned by their masters? Next to this place of peace?

 _(he looks inside the tomb)_ Romeo! Oh, he's pale! Who else? What, Paris too? And he's covered in blood? Ah, when did these horrible things happen? The lady's moving.

 _ **JULIET** wakes up._

 **JULIET**

Oh friendly friar! Where is my husband? I remember very well where I should be, and here I am. Where is my Romeo?

 _A noise sounds from outside the tomb._

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I hear some noise. Lady, come out of the tomb. A greater power than we can fight has ruined our plan. Come, come away. Your husband lies dead there, and Paris too. Come, I'll place you among the sisterhood of holy nuns. Don't wait to ask questions. The watch is coming. Come, let's go, good Juliet, I don't dare stay any longer.

 **JULIET**

Go, get out of here. I'm not going anywhere.

 _ **FRIAR LAWRENCE** exits._

What's this here? It's a cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, has been the cause of his death. How rude! He drank it all, and didn't leave any to help me afterward. I will kiss your lips. Perhaps there's still some poison on them, to make me die with a medicinal kiss. _(she kisses_ ROMEO _)_ Your lips are warm.

 _ **WATCHMEN** and **PARIS** 's **PAGE** enter._

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

 _(coming to the_ PAGE _)_ Lead, boy. Which way?

 **JULIET**

Oh, noise? Then I'll be quick. Oh, good, a knife!

My body will be your sheath.

Rust inside my body and let me die.

 _(she stabs herself with_ ROMEO _'s dagger and dies)_

 **PAGE**

This is the place. There, where the torch is burning.

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

The ground is bloody. Search the graveyard. Go, some of you, arrest whoever you find.

 _Some **WATCHMEN** exit._

This is a pitiful sight! The count is dead. Juliet is bleeding. Her body is warm, and she seems to have been dead only a short time, even though she has been buried for two days. Go, tell the Prince. Run to the Capulets. Wake up the Montagues. Have some others search.

 _Some other **WATCHMEN** exit in several directions._

We see the cause of all this pain. But we'll have to investigate to discover the whole story.

 _The **SECOND WATCHMAN** reenters with **BALTHASAR**._

 **SECOND WATCHMAN**

Here's Romeo's man. We found him in the churchyard.

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

Hold him in custody until the Prince gets here.

 _The **THIRD WATCHMAN** reenters with **FRIAR LAWRENCE**._

 **THIRD WATCHMAN**

Here is a friar who's trembling, sighing and weeping. We took this pickax and this shovel from him, as he was walking from this side of the graveyard.

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

Very suspicious. Hold the friar too.

 _The **PRINCE** enters with **ATTENDANTS**._

 **PRINCE**

What crimes happen so early in the morning that I have to wake up before the usual time?

 _ **CAPULET** and **LADY CAPULET** enter._

 **CAPULET**

What's the problem, that they cry out so loud?

 **LADY CAPULET**

Some people in the street are crying "Romeo." Some are crying "Juliet," and some are crying "Paris." They're all running in an open riot toward our tomb.

 **PRINCE**

What's this awful thing that everyone's crying about?

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

Prince, here lies Count Paris killed. And Romeo dead. And Juliet. She was dead before, but now she's warm and hasn't been dead for long.

 **PRINCE**

Investigate how this foul murder came about.

 **CHIEF WATCHMAN**

Here is a friar, and dead Romeo's man. They've got tools on them—tools they could use to open these tombs.

 **CAPULET**

Oh heavens! Oh wife, look at how our daughter bleeds! That knife should be in its sheath on that Montague's back, but instead it's mis-sheathed in my daughter's breast.

 **LADY CAPULET**

Oh my! This sight of death is like a bell that warns me I'm old and I'll die soon.

 _ **MONTAGUE** enters._

 **PRINCE**

Come, Montague. You're up early to see your son down early.

 **MONTAGUE**

Oh, my liege, my wife died tonight. Sadness over my son's exile stopped her breath. What further pain must I endure in my old age?

 **PRINCE**

Look, and you'll see.

 **MONTAGUE**

 _(seeing_ ROMEO' _s body)_ Oh, you undisciplined boy! Where are your manners? It's not right for a son to push past his father on his way to the grave.

 **PRINCE**

Be quiet and hold back your remarks of outrage, until we can clear up these questions. We want to know how it started and what really happened. And then I'll be the leader of pain, and maybe I'll lead you as far as death. In the meantime, hold on, and be patient. Bring forth the men under suspicion.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I am the greatest, but I was able to do the least. I am under the most suspicion, because I was here at the time of this awful murder. And here I stand, you can question me and punish me. I have already condemned and excused myself.

 **PRINCE**

Tell us what you know about this affair.

 **FRIAR LAWRENCE**

I will be brief because I'm not going to live long enough to tell a boring story. Romeo, who lies there dead, was the husband of that Juliet. And she, who lies there dead, was that Romeo's faithful wife. I married them; their secret wedding day was the day Tybalt died. His untimely death caused the bridegroom to be banished from the city. Juliet was sad because Romeo was gone, not because of Tybalt's death. To cure her sadness, you arranged a marriage for her with Count Paris. Then she came to me, and, looking wild, she asked me to devise a plan to get her out of this second marriage. She threatened to kill herself in my cell if I didn't help her. So I gave her a sleeping potion that I had mixed with my special skills. It worked as planned. She seemed to everyone to be dead.

In the meantime I wrote to Romeo and told him to come here on this awful night to help remove her from her temporary grave when the sleeping potion wore off. But the man who carried my letter, Friar John, was held up by an accident. Last night he gave me the letter back. So I came here alone at the hour when she was supposed to wake up. I came to take her out of her family's tomb, hoping to hide her in my cell until I could make contact with Romeo. But by the time I got here, just a few minutes before Juliet woke up, Paris and Romeo were already dead. She woke up, and I asked her to come out of the tomb with me and endure this tragedy with patience. But then a noise sent me running scared from the tomb. She was too desperate to come with me, and it seems that she killed herself. I know all of this. And her Nurse knows about the marriage too. If any part of this tragedy is my fault, let my old life be sacrificed and let me suffer the most severe punishment.

 **PRINCE**

We have always known you to be a holy man. Where's Romeo's man? What does he have to say about this?

 **BALTHASAR**

I brought my master news of Juliet's death. And then he rode from Mantua here to this tomb. _(he shows a letter)_ Earlier this morning he asked me to give this letter to his father. When he went into the vault, he threatened me with death if I didn't leave him alone there.

 **PRINCE**

Give me the letter. I'll look at it. _(he takes the letter from_ BALTHASAR _)_ Where is the count's page, the one who called the watch? Boy, what was your master doing here?

 **PAGE**

He came with flowers to spread on his lady's grave. And he asked me to stand far away and leave him alone, and so I did. Then someone with a torch came to open the tomb. So my master drew on him. And then I ran away to call the watch.

 **PRINCE**

 _(skimming the letter)_ This letter confirms the friar's account. It describes the course of their love and mentions the news of her death. Here he writes that he bought poison from a poor pharmacist. He brought that poison with him to this vault to die and lie with Juliet. Where are these enemies? Capulet! Montague! Do you see what a great evil results from your hate? Heaven has figured out how to kill your joys with love. Because I looked the other way when your feud flared up, I've lost several members of my family as well. Everyone is punished.

 **CAPULET**

Oh, brother Montague, give me your hand. This is my daughter's dowry. I can ask you for nothing more.

 **MONTAGUE**

But I can give you more. I'll raise her statue in pure gold. As long as this city is called Verona, there will be no figure praised more than that of true and faithful Juliet.

 **CAPULET**

The statue I will make of Romeo to lie beside his Juliet will be just as rich. They were poor sacrifices of our rivalry!

 **PRINCE**

We settle a dark peace this morning. The sun is too sad to show itself. Let's go, to talk about these sad things some more. Some will be pardoned, and some will be punished.

There was never a story more full of pain than the story of Romeo and Juliet.

 _They all exit._

* * *

 _a/n_

 _This entire work is created from SparkNotes, "No Fear Shakespeare"._

 _(http): nfs. sparknotes. com romeojuliet/_


End file.
